the mouse in the chancel

Now in Williamsburg, VA

2011-09-22T09:39:00.000-04:00

Maggie, the kids and I are overjoyed to have been called to St Martins Episcopal Church in Williamsburg, VA! It is a wonderful area ful of tri corn hats, academics, CIA personnel (at least that is the rumor)and other fine folk. There are also many social issues that need to be addressed such as homelessness, joblessness, and other important issues that the Body of Christ needs to be involved in. I have been called here to be the Assistant Rector. I have also been caled to facilitate the Outreach Commission in achieving the goal of recognizing the face of Christ in the other. I am overjoyed to be here and hope I can make a difference!

Happy Independence Day!

2010-12-16T22:41:00.004-05:00

Happy Independence Day Epiphany!

Many years ago this nation became independent from the Imperial powers of Great Britain due to a small issue over taxes, but we won’t get into that issue right now. But I must admit, that it is funny that we, as Christians celebrate today as Independence Day, because we were independent way before July 4^th, 1776. I’m not talking about the independence gained by our nation’s founding fathers, but the Independence given to us by our Father through the gift of the Holy Spirit. One of the founders of the Church, Paul, has much to say about this independence in his letter to the Church in Galatia. He says we are free from the strictures of societal norms, but that this freedom does not sever our ties to the community. It frees us to be a part of something much bigger- the Body of Christ. We as a community are free to be a part of the body of Christ, no matter who we are or where we come from. And in this community where there is no concept of the “other,” there is only us. This is a view that is sometimes hard to live into, but it is one that we must strive for. It is a kingdom that we want the independence, or freedom, to be a part of.

In the letter to the Galatians, The Apostle, Saint Paul, is a little unnerved to say the least. He is not a happy camper and he is showing what we in Seminary like to call his nitty gritty human side…………… He raves, he rants, and he is not in what one would call a good mood. You see, someone was telling the Church in Galatia that all of the male members needed to be circumcised. Paul was not happy about this- and that is an understatement. Galatians 5:11 testifies to this point…….Go look it up- it’s a great one. But back to my point, Circumcision, the Sabbath, and other Deuteronomic- Levitical laws were in question in the church of Galatia. The question was “Do new converts from the Gentile community have to get circumcised to belong? Do they have to abstain from, say….. eating shrimp- which is against Mosaic law?” Paul, throughout the letter, testifies and preaches the fact that we are free from the law of Moses, but also free to be moved by the Spirit to be a part of an open community. Paul is preaching about the freedom to belong. It is the freedom from societal and cultural expectations, so that anyone can belong to the community. Martin Luther has even commented and said that this passage is about the freedom of a Christian!

But, unbridled freedom is not what Paul was talking about. The passage that we read for today is one that many have used to point toward some type of Christocentric Libertarianism. By this I mean, I’ve got my Jesus and I am saved, so why do I need to worry about the other. I am a good Christian so I am free to do as I please, I don’t need to be bothered by societies ills. We can see how someone might form this view if we read certain sections of our passage which can be found in Galatians 6:4 “All must rest on their own work” and the ever famous “God is not mocked, you reap whatever you sow” from Chapter 6 verse 7. But if we take the entire passage in context it is plainly about responsibility to one another. It is a responsibility that says the rules of a community of Christians is based on the Spirit of God, and if in God, then Christ. This Spirit tells us that we are brothers and sisters who look out for one another. It is not a spirit who tells us to forget the other on Monday. It is not a spirit who tells us that we can act anyway we want in this word as long as it is good for the almighty me.–This point is strictly rebuked by Paul’s statement that is found in Chapter 6 verse 2 “Bear one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” This verse talks of the independence of Christians as the Body of Christ in this world from Mosaic Law and other societal expectations. It is an independence, not a freedom to be alone, but a freedom to belong- This point is made clear with Paul’s charge in Chapter 6 verse 10- “So then whenever we have an opportunity, let us work for the good of all and especially for those in the family of faith.” Again, it is not about independence to be alone, but the freedom to belong to something much larger than anything that we as humankind can construct on our own.

In the United States of America today there is a celebration of another type of independence. It is an independence from being a part of community. It is the freedom to not recognize ourselves in the other. We have gated homesteads (I wont call them communities) where we can sequester ourselves from the community. We free ourselves from recognizing our face in the other, especially if that face is one of the working poor, or the homeless. This freedom from the other has even been codified in law. The law has pushed what we like to think is the other far away from our lives. In Dallas, Texas, it is illegal to sit on a sidewalk. In New York City, a years old trash law was resurrected to keep the homeless from using boxes to stay warm. In Philadelphia, it is illegal to sleep in public, or to eat in a park. Sean Claiborne, a homeless rights activist, was arrested with many other people when they celebrated the Eucharist in Love Park. These laws are all used as a means to exile those in our community that make people uncomfortable. This codified breaking apart of the community is a direct consequence of our interpretation of independence meaning that one has the right to be alone and not be bothered by the other. In New York a few weeks ago this right to not be bothered played itself out in a vicious way. A homeless man who tried to break up a fight was stabbed. He lay in a pool of his own blood for an hour while people walked by and did not notice him. They were free to be left alone. They felt no responsibility for a fellow child of God. He did not exist to those who were independent of responsibility. It took one hour for someone to notice that this was a child of God and call 911. HE was dead and in the arms of his Father in heaven when the paramedics arrived. The Body of Christ was ignored and we were free to continue to be left alone.

In Paul’s letter to the Galatians we are to take one another’s burdens, not to tell them- “Well, hey, sorry……but you reap what you sow.” This freedom to belong does not come with a qualification clause. It does not tell one, if you have a certain attribute…..you may belong. Christ’s resurrection was for all people, the community called the church is for all people. The community outside of these walls does ask for qualifications, the community asks “do you have a substance abuse problem?” and if so, they will help you. If you don’t, well you go to the streets- where you just might pick up a substance abuse problem. The church is not like this- we are all equal and one under God’s law. We don’t need a Lexus, a home in the islands, or a country club membership to belong…….much less a circumcision. That is the good news. God freely gives you the freedom to belong, saint and sinner alike, poor person, rich person. It is all readily available to you. There is no surgical procedure required! The exile of the homeless is a thing of the City of man, not the City of God. The Church is to give us a foretaste of that Kingdom. The church is not only to write checks, but to belong to the big messy, complicated Koinonia. Checks are a good thing, don’t get me wrong, but it is only part of the story. Nothing can beat being personally involved with the whole Community of God. The Church of the Epiphany knows this for a fact. The doors of God’s church have been open for all who want to be here. We strive to help. We have Gospel Arts, we have the Welcome table and Bible Studies, but could we do more to prove to the world that there is a freedom to belong given by the Holy Spirit at the Church of the Epiphany? Can we all say that we share in the banquet of the Welcome Table, or do we serve the “other.” What would it look like if the Spirit moved us to eat together at the welcome table and remove that separation that happens with the serving line? I know that food cost money and folks are worried about taking food from someone’s mouth that might really need it, but I can tell you we have plenty of coffee. Sit for a while have a cup of coffee and get to know your brother and sister in Christ. Go to the Town meetings when another budget cut happens and speak as the Body of Christ where all of its members can be heard. Stop and speak to a brother or sister. When something isn’t right on our streets tell someone. Embrace the freedom and Independence God gave us and join the Koinonia, be a part of community- the only cost is love and compassion- All for Christ’s sake

AMEN

Getting over the inner extrovert in the tropics.........

2010-04-17T20:36:00.000-04:00

So, I am not very good at doing it. The "it" I speak of is hanging out by myself. You know what I mean, the solitary actions of walking the city streets taking it all in, the sitting at a cafe with a book or pad sipping a cooling expresso, sitting in a park with a bottle of water and a baguette. These are the activities that some of us enjoy, but, I must jealously admit that they drive me absolutely batty. The idea is romantic enough. Trapsing out on your own Kerowack style with backpack and moleskin journal in hand, ready to jott down the next piece of imagined wisdom, poetry, or in my case theology, that comes into your incredibly astute and artsy head.

Normally, I cant even think of doing this. I need conversation, my kids playing dodge ball in the living room, or my wife just existing near me, to do anything of value. If I am alone for any prolonged period of time, I put on NPR, or an audio book, but the tropics have been an allieviation of all of this in a small way.

One can not stay indoors in the tropics. It is not really an option. It is not because of the beautiful landscape, the frenetic action of the city, or the music of blenders that draws you out. What draws you out is the heat. It is hot in the house. You have to leave to let the sticky sweaty stuff of your day evaporate off of you. So there is nothing to do but go out, and if no one will go with you- you go anyway.

This what I found myself doing over and over again in the Dominican Republic. My buddy and I, Fyodor, would go out and sit in cafe's and drink espresso together. I thought Fyodor and I would be alone, but no...... In the tropics things are kind of loud. Marange and Bashetta music are meant to be played loud, conversations are loud, cars are loud. Its not that people mean to be loud, but they are just being passionate. Passionate in the way us reserved anglos are not. I think you can insert your own visions from Happy Days or The Meaning of Life into your mind as I say this and hopefully you will say.....oh yeah....know what you mean.

Well I digress, anyway how did the tropics teach me to be an introvert? Well, I realized that Fyodor was a screen! Oh yes a screen you say my good man.....no of course, I am being an ass, you must realize that the progressive nature of the people, or I say the drunkards.......Wait may be I did read a bit to much Fyodor......back to matter at hand! What I meant by a screen was that I read alittle, sipped a little, and watched people. I recall a man maybe arguing passionately, or maybe talking about his granddaughter. Whatever he was talking about, his hands were wildly moving, pointing in all directions. Then his hands would make all sorts of gestures that made one think he was bringing a chopper or an aircraft in for a landing. It was fascinating.

I also recall sitting in a cantina and watching a group of guys take a break from car washing to play dominoes. Voices would raise, tempers would seem to flare then they would hug. This is an amazing place of emotion. It is not like our emotion- an emotion we with hold in for fear of making someone upset, but the honest emotion that lets the other know where you stand in truth. Maybe this lesson would be one we could learn to live with. If becoming introverted for a while taught me this........bring on the Myers Brigg "I" designator.....I need it.

A Sermon Preached in the Dominican Republic 01/27/10

2010-01-27T08:17:00.001-05:00

Luke 21:12-15

Jesus said, "But before all this occurs, they will arrest you and persecute you; they will hand you over to synagogues and prisons, and you will be brought before kings and governors because of my name. This will give you an opportunity to testify. So make up your minds not to prepare your defense in advance; for I will give you words and a wisdom that none of your opponents will be able to withstand or contradict."

In 1936 a priest of God stood up for God. This Priest was not concerned with the trappings of his office. This priest was not concerned with the public’s opinion of him, what type of car he drove, or whether his vestments were from some primer English tailor.

This priest did not argue about predestination, liberation, consubstantiation, tran-substantiation, or the incarnation. What this priest did, though, was to listen to God. He listened and he was brought up to glory for doing what God told him to do.

The Priest’s name was Charles Raymond Barnes. During the reign of the dictator Trujillo this priest listened to God, which could be very dangerous. You see, Fr. Barnes learned of the horrible happenings on the border that the Dominican Republic shares with Haiti. Fr Barnes learned of a genocide. Fr Barnes listened to God and did something about that genocide. When Fr Barnes sent letters to officials in the American Government pleading for help for the people of Haiti, he was living the Gospel. Fr Barnes was arrested and persecuted, he was handed over to the governor because of the name of God. He used the wisdom of God in his actions and his soul with stood the blows of torture and murder. Fr Barnes testified to the truth, the truth of the heinous crimes, and to the truth of Christ. Fr Barnes stood up for the oppressed and the meek. Fr Barnes was brought before the governor. Fr Barnes was beaten and broken. Fr Barnes soul went to glory for his witness. This all happened less than 50 meters away.

In the church tonight, we will celebrate the Eucharist. We will all take communion over the broken body that lays entombed under the altar at Iglesia de la Epifania this evening, God willing. This joining with Christ, and each other, will fortify us to tell the truth, to be be brought before whomever and wherever God requires. This will give us an opportunity to testify. So we will make up our minds not to prepare our defense in advance; for God will give us words and a wisdom that none of our opponents will be able to withstand or contradict." Let us remember the witness of the Reverend Father Charles Barnes. Let us pray that we are strong enough to live out the Gospel. Let us pray that we are strong enough to live the truth, no matter what occurs.

First Sermon at Epiphany

2009-11-23T07:48:00.004-05:00

Pilate, Pontius Pilate- The man ultimately responsible for the crucifixion- A man vilified throughout history- A man we love to hate. According to our creeds Jesus was crucified under Pontius Pilate. Our Lord and Saviour was scourged and humiliated by Pontius Pilate. This the Pontius Pilate, who represented greed, power, and militarized barbarism. In this Gospel Passage we see this grand inquisitor question Jesus as to the very nature of his being, “Are you the king?”- Jesus cryptically answers back with “I am the Truth,” and it got him crucified- We as the Church proclaim that Christ is King, that his truth is our truth- How could a truth so evident to us- that Christ is King, that he spoke truth, be so easily disregarded by a man who actually stood in his presence? Christ is King we proclaim, we hold that allegiance as a stamp upon our very hearts and minds-

How could he not bow down to the Kingship of Christ and serve the King of all of Creation? How could Pilate disregard the Truth and the power of Christ the King? In this passage from the Gospel of John, we see Jesus and Pilate wrestle with the two opposing forces of relativity and eternity. This wrestling begs the age old question, “what is the very nature of the Truth in this world?”

This question begs us to ask,”What do we know about this man named Pilate?” How did Pilate, this vilified man, treat the truth, power and sovereignty of Christ? Do we have anything in common with this man? Surely not!......... right? Well maybe not, But I don’t think we can go so far as to condemn the man. Pilate was a 1rst century AD man, a governor- a man of great power. He had the power of life and death. Pilate had the Power to judge the guilty and the innocent. Pilate, the Roman governor of Palestine, had the power to unleash the awesome might and power of the most organized and systematically lethal military force of that epoch of time. Pilate worked hard to get this power and Pilate climbed the Roman Bureaucratic ladder, and he wanted to stay there. It may have been a stressful job, but he had worked hard to get a great villa, the nice obligatory two chariot garage, a wonderful hot tub (also known as the roman baths), a great spouse and family. Now, the Governor had climbed that ladder to the top- but according to historical sources it was a notoriously creaky ladder- one of those lofty heights that when someone achieves the climb- they might look down and realize that suddenly that they are afraid of heights. You see Pilate’s boss was a little unstable; Tiberius Caesar was not what one would call a compassionate boss. Caesar wanted two things efficiency and public order. Pilate knew this and that if he wanted to keep his position, and possibly his life, Pilate had to placate Caesar and his cronies. How did these facts effect the way this bureaucrat saw the truth- what version of truth was it? Would Pilate do anything in his power to keep what he had, even ignore the truth? Or, to be fair, did Pilate actually ignore the truth? In his world, the state and material wealth were the only truths he had ever known. He was taught from an early age to strive for the state, to be a part of his culture, a culture where conquest and commerce where king- where the state and the culture of Rome were Sovereign- We might say that Caesar was king, but many Caesars where assassinated for threatening the status quo of culture. So, we can say that the pull and allure of creature comforts, security, and wealth were the Triumvirate of Truths in the Roman Empire. When we think of this material truth, The Triumvirate of Truths of Pilate, we may say that it was his truth; that was “real” to him.

To understand how radical an idea Christ was proposing to Pilate, we must now ask, “What is this Truth that Jesus brings to us?” In this passage, Jesus says that he is testifying to the TRUTH and we know that it is not Pilates’ truth; it can not be Pilate’s -truth. We know that there is a world-shattering conflict between the old truth of Pilate’s world and the Truth of Christ. We know that Pilate’s truth is of his broken world and not of the Kingdom to come. So, what is Jesus’s Truth?

It is the Truth of Compassion, Jesus taught us to love one another.

It is the Truth of Sacrifice, Jesus was the one true and perfect sacrifice for all time, His truth tells us to put others first, as opposed to Pilate’s truth of self above community.

Jesus taught us to love our neighbours as ourselves.

The Truth of Life and Healing, after all in John’s Gospel, the raising of Lazarus from the dead, is what got Jesus in front of Pilate anyway.

This truth is the truth of Forgiveness.

Now, there is a danger here, There is a danger in thinking that this Truth, this Kingdom Come is of a world to come. That the truth that Jesus brings us is one that only applies in another world, Heaven. There is a tendency to throw our hands up in the air and proclaim that this truth reigns only in Heaven, while we are left here to deal with Pilate’s version of a cruel societal truth here on earth. We may think, “When Christ comes down from the clouds in glory and tells us that he is the Alpha and Omega- then and only then will Christ will give us the Truth of his reign.” It is hard not to think like the ancient Romans. Our contemporary society is addicted to the material world. Many believe that to be happy, they need power, prestige and creature comforts, and that that need is so insurmountable that the truth of Christ must be of another Kingdom -- one which we must wait for with baited breath. But, there is GOOD NEWS, It is the Truth of the King Jesus Christ and it is one that is not far off, it is here and now, it is working and bringing healing to the world now. This truth, through the death and resurrection of Christ, dwells in us. The truth is born into us. We are made in the image of God and that truth is God, and our Power comes from God. Our power comes not from Rome, or material wealth, prestige or anywhere else, but only from The One Triune God. This unobvious Power is here with us now. If you listen, you can hear it in the whispers of your soul. This power of the truth is incarnational, that is to say that the power and the truth dwell in us. This power of the truth of Christ feeds us NOW, and we in turn feed the world with the power of the truth-

This leads us to ask “What is our personal truth, today?” Is our truth is just getting through the day, no matter how it affects others or ourselves? Can we be so angry that our truth is mired up in self, and we forget about others? Is truth ever dependant on where we are and what we are trying to achieve? Do we ever center our idea of truth on what we want or need? Does our truth make us feel we need something that might not be so healthy? Has our truth ever been, “I’ve got to take care of myself and I don’t care what happens to that other guy?” Pilate’s Truth is a worldly truth that seems to very familiar if one listens to CNN or reads the Washington Post. Pilates Truth is one that brings us visions of homeless children in the streets looking at us with vacant stares, the truth of famine, the truth of torture, the truth of Ponzi schemes, the truth of brokenness and separation. This truth that Pilate proclaims through his edict is one that is in direct opposition to the Truth of Christ.

Now this is pretty and uplifting little message, Jesus’s Truth, the Truth we strive to follow, is right and good, and Pilate’s is wrong and hurtful. But this TRUTH I speak of comes with work, it is not a truth we can just lay under a nice little tree (or sit in church) and ponder. It is rather the work of all of us to testify to this truth- There are many who have testified to the truth in our past, so it’s nice to have examples right?

Martin Luther King Jr was afforded the opportunity to be a minister at one of the largest black churches in the nation, he was respected in what was considered his community and he could have followed the example of many and been happy, complacent, and – yes- comfortable like the people before him. But this was not what God called him to do, he worked to create the new Jerusalem by fighting for equality among all of God’s people and sadly he died for it. Another example is The Reverend Charlie Andrews, an Anglican I might add, and who in the early twentieth century decided that the posh parish life in England was not what God called him to do. Father Andrews went against his ordination vows and sided against the king of England to assist Gandhi in liberating India & Pakistan, two nations that were bound by the yoke of oppression.

Still another example from the pantheon of Saints is Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Reverend Bonhoeffer was living a comfortable academic life in New York City and decided to return to his native Germany during the rise of Hitler to confront the most heinous version of power with the Truth of Christ. He was led to the gallows for his witness. Still another, with a much happier ending, is the example of living the Truth that Archbishop Desmond Tutu gives us. Archbishop Tutu is a priest and an Archbishop who could have quietly performed the duties prescribed to his office and made no waves. But, God called him from complacency and he led a nation to justice and equality by being instrumental in ending apartheid in South Africa. Most importantly, there was a Jewish carpenter who decided to abandon the old truth of Ancient Rome in Nazareth, realize what his destiny was to be, and acknowledge who he was – Jesus Christ, the saviour of the world and God’s only son. This Truth is the one that led Jesus to give himself to us and the cross. This giving was an acknowledgement of the Truth that saved the world. These are examples from the history of our church and these events changed our perception of the Truth and brought us a vision of the truth. Every time you love your neighbour, forgive, and practice compassion, when you stand up for what Jesus has taught us to do- you stand up for the power of the Truth- We don’t have to be in Pilate’s position of power to stand for the truth- We have a different type of power- it is the solar power of the light of Christ, the wind power of the Holy Spirit, the Hydro Power of Baptism, not the dirty power of Pilate. Every time we as a church community lend a helping hand to the world through the programs that we do here at Epiphany, we testify to the truth. Whether it is Gospel arts, Franciscan Spirituality, bringing the Eucharist to Franklin Park, feeding our community at the Welcome table, discerning with the Breaking Bread For Justice Ministry Teams, working to bring music to the downtown community or participating in the healing power of prayer we witness to the truth. These ministries are all a witness to the healing power of the Truth of Christ. This is Christ the King Sunday. Let us embrace the power and the truth of our King, Jesus Christ. Let us prayerfully and intentionally disregard the old, broken truth adhered to by Pilate, because we are loyal to our sovereign of power and light! Let us be that power and light in this world, ambassadors of grace, workers for our king’s world. May this truth be realized on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Field ED Assignment!!!!

2009-07-28T15:06:00.005-04:00

Hello All-

I hope this post from Seminary finds you all well! I have some news to relate to everyone about a big milestone in one's Seminary career. It's called "Field Ed." This two letter word can almost make or break one's experience at Seminary. If one gets a bad spot, or one that they do not love, it can be a bleak middler and senior year. If one gets one that is too good, it can mean a great experience, but a sunk marriage, and F's on exams and such due to the all encompassing giving over of the soul that has unfortunately victimized the Seminarian who chooses the site that is too good. For example, I heard of a Seminarian, a rural Arkansas low churchman, who succumbed to the alure of Church Incsense at St Paul's K Street and came out of the St Paul's Sacristy after 17 hours of inhaling the stuff- it was very bad, the person involved not only had a horrid sinus infection, but burnt all of his alb to a crisp. If that wasnt bad enough, he then walked around campus for about two weeks muttering bells and smells quietly to himself with reddened eyes...............

But seriously, no this didnt happen- the point is that one can spend way to much time at the perfect field ed parish. We have been warned not to do this, to draw boundaries and to practice Self Care. This is a good thing because I am delighted that I have found an incredible parish to be a part of for the next two years. The Parish is the Church of the Epiphany, G Street, Washington DC.

Epiphany G St, as it is known, is a church that has a very inclusive congregation with a strong emphasis in Social Justice. At the eight o'clock Sunday Eucharist Service there are probably 200 of Washington DC's homeless community in attendence. These wonderful people are accompanied by alot of folks from Washington's upper crust, as well. They are black, white and hispanic, gay, straight, young and old, male and female, fundamentalist as well as liberals- and this is what I mean by inclusive- not one narrow definition of the word but an all encompassing inclusivity. This inclusivness is then demonstrated further by the sharing of a common meal in which approximately 250 folks gather and eat a wonderful unabashedly southern breakfast together. It sounds like a full day, but it is only half over- The 11 o'claok service shifts in tone from a more spiritual african evangelical service to a pretty high Anglican Service! This service is also incredibly inclusive. It has many of the same people in attendance that were at the eight o'clock- seems like people cant get enough of this place!

The church also holds the Eucharist once daily and these are attended by more people than the Sunday service. these services are dedicated to the downtown working community, especially the government workers and the downtown homeless. One day of the week, the Eucharist is moved to Franklin Park in downtown for street church. At this service, not only is the Body and Blood of Christ distributed to the homeless, lunch is distributed as well as ............

So, as I hope you can see, Maggie and I am very excited by the learning, praying, and worshipping that goes on at Epiphany G St. I am very excited because I really want to learn how to make social justice a part of the culture of the community that is church. It will be a wonderful lesson to endeavour to learn, I only hope I will get a start at it at Epiphany!

Vacation for the family and time to paint!

2009-07-17T22:01:00.006-04:00

Well the family is off for a vacation int he mountains of NC! Unfortunatley, I wont be with them. I will be finishing my unit of CPE and I am looking forward to little mini retreat so I can relax after a taxing summer. But, I do know I will be very lonely after the first few days. So, I will have to occupy myself with work and reading for the next two weeks.

One task that will be done is a painting commission that I will complete for a priest in Georgia! During the VTS art show there was a bit of buzz about a painting I did. I sold the painting ( Of St. Paul- that's it- up and to the right) and a few people actually contracted me to do some paintings. So, I will take advantage of the time to get a painting done!

After Maggie and the boys vacation, I will finish CPE and we will be on a proper vacation to NC and Georgia to visit the parish, family, and friends. It will be wonderful to get back to NC and relax during the break before the fall semester!

trying times

2009-06-27T10:35:00.002-04:00

So, this is what they meant by CPE..............

For the uninitiated, it is a rite of passage for most Seminarians called Clinical Pastoral Education. It is a time where Seminarians go (uninvited) into hospital rooms, institutions, assisted living facilitates, etc. and provide pastoral care to the people who happen to be at these places. I can only say one thing..........wow.

Some visits have been very congenial here's a typical one- How are you! Oh that's great! Did you have a nice breakfast? Oh, Im sorry......, Did you sleep well? Oh again Im sorry, no I guess I wouldn't have either....

After these nice little chit chats, I find that I am getting more comfortable with asking about the Spirit and how their soul is doing. With these questions come amazing stories and revelations. Stories come that, frankly, you would rather not hear. I have had people ask for my advice on subjects that were uncomfortable ranging from infidelity to the sanctity of life. It was interesting because these folks wanted answers and I felt completely unable to answer their question. But, I did what I was told and put it back on them- A few well placed "tell me more" and "what do you think" and consultations if necessary. But, this does seem a bit hollow and wimpy. I felt like I had to solve the situation as the wise sage on the hill, but I guess these situations are not about me and my needs. It is about their need to have someone who cares and will listen to their problems.

This is the hard part, letting go of your needs and being what they need.

The Castle

2009-01-11T20:39:00.004-05:00

The Castle's Foundations have proven brittle
The water of the tide has moved in ebb and flow
The Walls, eroded like Jericho, have tumbled down

The Castle stands naked
Like the Lamb led to the slaughter
All things old will begin again new

Whether it is pleasing to us- it has no matter
Only God knows
And we are left guessing and in hopeful tension

In Alexandria at VTS

2008-09-01T07:56:00.003-04:00

Well we are here and we are settled in! Maggie, Liam and Finn and I have made many friends we are having a blast. I have just finished up three weeks of intensive Hebrew and it was challenging to say the least!

Liam and Finn have been enjoying all that Washington DC has to offer and Maggie has been a wonderful tour guide for the guys. They especially enjoyed the Smithsonian's Natural History Museum and all of the Dinosaur fossils.

I have been enjoying VTS more than I can actually put into words. I have enjoyed my Hebrew class very much. You must imagine my surprise, when the professor, Judy Fentress Williams walked in and I recognized her as a Biblical Scholar I actually have seen on the Discovery Channel. WOW.

The faculty and the students are great here, there is a feeling of family here that is wonderful. There is a warmth among the students and faculty that I have not seen before at an educational institution. It truly feels like training and mentoring, instead of the normal academic gotcha games that some institutions play.

I have also signed up for my new classes, I will be taking New Testament, Old Testament, Systematic Theology, a theology class called the Finality of Christ, A Spirituality/ Social Justice Class and the finish of the Hebrew requirements this first semester................so I should be busy.

I have been visiting parishes in search for a field education site and it has been enlightening.
I was very impressed with the Church of the Epiphany in DC. It is a parish that focuses on urban ministry to the homeless. It was wonderful to see worship happen with homeless and rich folks walking side by side to God's supper table. It was an invigorating and moving experience.

My close friend, Spiro Pavalantos, will hopefully be very impressed that I went to the Greek Orthodox Cathedral for Matins and the Divine Liturgy. It was an experience that was out of this world! The beautiful music was haunting and ethereal, and the liturgy was foreign- but somehow familiar- ancient yet apt for our times.

We have also attended our own National Cathedral. It was, of course, awe inspiring.

Well, we will have more information for all of you soon!

Sarah's not retiring, she's havin' a Baby!

2008-07-23T10:08:00.002-04:00

“Oh yes, you did laugh” I must start out by saying that I love these words. I also think about Sarah and Abraham because it is one of the most playful things God says in the whole Bible and he says it to Sarah a complex and important hero of our common heritage. If you are familiar with the story of Abraham and Sarah I apologize for this next bit- so please indulge me for a second. Abraham and Sarah are Sumerians- they live in Ur a powerful city state on the Tigris and Euphrates. To give you some background- Ur, and all of the Sumerian City States, was a land of theocrats that the King rules all as the High Priest to their many Gods. Then Abraham receives word that he must go against convention and leave his life in Ur and go to Cannan and be blest by this unknown God, due to his adherence to this command he is known as the father of all the big three monotheistic religions. Anyway, he follows the order and leaves and encounters things that fill the book of Genesis such as Sodom and Gomorrah, Sarah and Abrahams encounter with Pharaoh, not to mention that they were chosen by God to have progeny that were too numerous to count. Sarah even gave Abraham Hagar, her Egyptian servant, to help fulfill prophecy (because she was barren – or so she thought) so that Abraham could fill the land- and with the arrival of A & H’s son, Ishmael, they probably assumed they were done . By the time of their meeting with the Lord in the Oaks of Mamre, Abraham is the leader of a large flock of travelers and S &A are well –in their golden years probably ready for some time off (Abraham was 100 and Sara was 90) - they worked hard, they have long passed their mandatory retirement age in the US – I can even imagine their caravan being an ancient version of the RV on it’s way to chill out in the Biblical version of Florida – Cannan with Gods promise of a new and bountiful land. Time for a break we might think- Abraham and Sarah have already been to Cannan once and where forced away by a famine – then they were economic refugees in Egypt where they tussled with a Pharaoh and then unsuccessfully negotiated with God to save Sodom and Gomorrah at the Dead Sea. Wow, it definitely sounds like the time for a break.
Well- now for something completely different. God tells Sarah she will have a child. The son that will carry on to be one of the founders of a great nation. She even laughs at God, I think because she is so surprised, to put it mildly- after all she was 90- she is obviously surprised that this wonderful gift can be given to her. Wow- think about it, when we think we are done and we are comfortable God always pulls us forward. God pulls forward to do more than we ever imagined. So when Sarah hears she will give birth at this time during her life- I think a laugh is very appropriate. So hold on this story of surprise and moving on to the unknown, while we think about our Gospel passage
In this passage from Matthew, The Disciples, or followers of Jesus, are told to go out and do some amazing things- Heal the sick, raise the dead, and as we know- take nothing but your sandals. They are to accept no payment- in other words- they are to trust God.
I can imagine that this would be hard for a Disciple to hear. It is easy to follow, it is not so easy to lead- but with support it can be doable. Could you imagine being given this type of independent duty? You’ve watched and you’ve learned, as they did- if for just one moment you could imagine yourself in their shoes- you’ve probably would have become very comfortable with a leader who is- and will continue- to save the world- God in the flesh. I mean I think I would be comfortable with this arrangement of following God, no matter how difficult the living would be. Then your support is pulled away. You’ve got to do it alone, or at least you perceive it will be alone. How do these stories of disrupted comfort apply to us? We are frequently are pulled from our comfortable places- just like Sarah and the disciples we are pulled from our comfortable and easy existences. God continues to surprise and challenge us to reach heights that we think are impossible just like he did with them- God continues to pull us from our comfort zones- and God is with us through it all.
It might help us to think of these examples from our modern times-
There are people who worked tirelessly throughout history and continue to do so today.
Take Gandhi for example, Mohandas Gandhi could have easily been a lawyer in India or South Africa, dealt with unjust laws and been prosperous and happy- he then sheds his clothes and liberates a nation. Speaking of Gandhi, there is the story of one of my favorite Anglican Priests from history, Charlie Andrews, who in the early twentieth century decided that the posh parish life in England was not what God called him to do. HE went against his ordination vows and went against the king of England and assisted Gandhi in liberating India & Pakistan, two nations that were bound by the yoke of oppression.
In America, Martin Luther King Jr was a afforded the opportunity to be a minister at one of the largest black churches in the nation, he was respected in what was considered his community by the status quo and he could have followed the example of many and been happy, complacent, and – yes- comfortable. But this was not what God called him to do, he worked to create the new Jerusalem by fighting for equality among all of God’s people and sadly he died for it. There is Mother Theresa who already gave her life to God, and could have been like the many pious people before and settled for a life of quiet service, contemplation and prayer, but she dedicated her life to bringing dignity to dying and destitute- all of them God’s children (no matter religion, race, social status, or infirmity). There is Desmond Tutu, who was a priest and a bishop who could have quietly performed the duties prescribed to his office and made no waves. But, God called him from complacency and he led a nation to justice and equality by ending apartheid in South Africa. Most importantly- there was a Jewish carpenter who decided to abandon a comfortable life in Nazareth and realize what his destiny was to be and acknowledge who he was – the saviour of the world and God’s only son who will give himself to us and the cross.
What do all of these wonderful soul stirring stories have in common? It is the throwing off of a yoke, not the yoke of oppression, but the yoke of comfort and complacency. Now, I know that we have all worked hard and I am not calling us all to go out and win the Nobel Peace Prize- that would be nice- But, I do wonder if when we enter the world beyond these doors can we take the time to notice the world around us? When we leave the comfort of our beautiful church and the warmth that the surroundings give us, we are empowered through the holy sacrament of Communion through the service of the Eucharist to change the world! Many days, myself included, we leave this comfort to quickly find the comfort of a restaurant, the easy chair, or the simple comfort of a wonderful and beautiful Sunday afternoon with family. But I wonder if we could listen to what the Spirit is saying to us, and take that empowering sacrament of the Eucharist into the world and use the strength that Christ has bestowed upon us to be the body of Christ in this world. God always is calling us to move forward, to fix what is broken in this world. Listen to what the Spirit is saying- are you being spoken to?
I am not saying that our actions have to be big! Some people are called to that- some go to Haiti, some hear God calling them to be clergy, some hear the call of God asking them to assist refugees and people in distress, some might hear the call of serving someone who is hungry a simple meal, some hear the call to assist the ill, some hear the call to mentor and help the youth of our community, some hear the call of bringing God’s beauty to our ears and eyes through art and music, some might hear the call of helping to clean a refuse filled area of God’s Green and Blue Earth. God might be calling you to write a letter, or stand and organize to fight an injustice that is taking place in God’s Kingdom. In other words, all things are big when we work as Christ’s body in this world.
So whatever the Spirit is saying to you, take the time to listen and I bet that the comfort of following God’s active direction will be much more gratifying than the comfort of complacency. In fact, I bet you’ll laugh just like Sarah-----laugh with joy.

On Jacob's Ladder

2008-07-23T09:59:00.002-04:00

On a ship, there is a piece of equipment called the Jacob’s Ladder- and yes it is as the name implies – a ladder. It is very flimsy, if I handed it to you, to say, paint your house or change a light bulb, you would probably choose a more standard variety of ladder- say aluminum or one of those really great one advertised on TV- (you, know the one that forms a triangle and can seemingly make the space program unnecessary due to it’s incredible reach). The Jacob’s Ladder I am talking about is a rope with rungs attached. It’s purpose is to save lives, it is a bridge between the ocean and the safety of a ship, it is flimsy, it makes your heart beat faster when you descend or ascend it. It is, to say the least, a nerve racking affair when you must climb it. It is attached from the top and descends to the water to save lives. I think there are major parallels between the story from Genesis and this piece of maritime equipment, they both join the turbulent earth with sanctuary. These ladders are connections between the divine salvation and despair. Both of these ladders can also be a comfort, it tells us of the connection between salvation and the enveloping deep are not that far away from each other. They are both as close as you can reach, they are both (the divine ladder and the more earthly one) designed to reach to earth, not some tantalizing carrot that causes us only to yearn and groan, but to yearn and groan and reach the goal of salvation, whether from the sea or the brokenness of our increasingly cruel and unstable world. If we can reach up in our very souls and grasp this ladder and some how bring heaven to earth we can change the world, we can grab all of the wonderful souls of creation and bring them into the ship of God’s love. It is not easy, the waves and tumultuous currents of modern culture make it hard to reach, many give up- but, we cant give up because God’s love will always be there if we just strain for the ladder.

Now, how is the Old Testament story of Jacob’s vision of a ladder joining of Heaven and Earth relate to the Parable of the Sower. The parable tells the story of a farmer that plants good seed and basically weeds come up around the good seed, bit Jesus assures us that we should not be concerned because- basically- all will be taken care of. Jesus then goes on to explain that the Son of Man on Earth is the good crop, the nourishing crop- & evil is obviously the weeds- but the good crop will “overpower- or triumph” the evil weeds through the divine. Here is the second analogy of the evening- I love gardening, especially herb gardening- I don’t know sometimes I think I’m a medieval monk herbalist born in the wrong time, without the silly haircut of course…………
But, anyway I like to plant Basil, and other herbs that I like to cook with. I also like Mint for my iced tea. If you have ever tried to grow mint, you know that it will take over your garden. Weeds and centipede grass try to take it over, but their efforts are futile in vanquishing the planted mint. Here’s where the analogy comes in- when Jesus tells the story of the parable, he acknowledges that there will be weeds- when he speaks of planting good seed, he is not speaking of horticulture, he is speaking of love and us- as the hands and feet of Christ in this world. To be Christians, we must do hard work. We must overcome the weeds-just like the mint does and with God’s help the weeds have no chance. What are the weeds that we must overcome you might ask and how do we overcome them, and what does the analogy of Jacob’s ladder have to do with all of this?
The story of Jacob’s ladder paints a picture of a three tiered universe- a medieval version of the universe. When I was a child, I was told of a place in the sky- or heaven and then our green and blue gift of the earth in which we have stewardship of ( and are standing on at this moment) and well the hotspot located underground- the place you went to if you were bad (or squirmed in church as my granny used to say – God rest her soul). This is a very popular version of the cosmos that prevailed as the dominate science until the renaissance. But as an incarnational people, could it be possible that the ladder is us doing what God wills us to do, obtaining heaven through becoming closer to Christ through prayer and action? Could it be that this ladder is not some paranormal gate, but a mystical one reached by prayer? And not just the prayer we do internally, but the prayer that Rabbi Abraham Heshel, a noted Jewish theologian and activist, said that was best performed with our feet through action and SACRED activism? This ladder is in us and so is the garden that Jesus speaks of. In our internal private places we have desires and thoughts of greed (hum, wonder if I can score the last piece of pie), coveting our neighbour’s possessions (this happens every time I see a Hybrid car), not to mention the gluttony that happens often in many of us. The weeds of complacency are in our minds- the weeds of the acceptance of the injustices of this world – the weeds of rage that happen when many of us feel like we have not received the respect we deserve- the thoughts of prejudice that we all have when we see someone who is not exactly like we are. It is through Christ and the good seed that is God that will bring the harvest of love, compassion and –yes- sacrifice, to our souls and deliver us into unity with God and all of Creation. It is the internal ladder that we must groan and stretch for that will deliver us to this heavenly country. It is a ladder to the divine that is so fragile that if you blink you might miss it, but it must be found and ascended so that we can tend the good crop and watch it flourish, and when we have found this ladder is it not our duty as Christians to share our discovery? Isn’t a crop to be shared- not horded? When we decide to accept and climb our ladder, we can then throw our ladder down into the weedy tumultuous garden that is the treacherous sea and reach down and grab those who suffer and bring them into Love.
I know what this feels like, on an earthly level. There was not better felling while I was in the Coast Guard than reaching down that jacob’s ladder and pulling someone onto your ship.
As followers of Christ, and as a loving, incarnate people, don’t we have a responsibility to throw down the ladder and pull those up around us. Can we help weed the garden of the world and let the Spirit flourish as does Mint in the summer? Can the entire crop of God’s love flourish and feed the world?

So, let us grab up the harvest and use the ladder to deliver Christ’s love to a hungry and distressed world.

Is this the Story of Christ and all Prisoners of Conscience? (and our call to serve and to do what we can do?)

2008-05-15T20:49:00.008-04:00

6×6 - from wall to wall

Shutters on the windows, no light at all

Damp on the floor you got damp on the bed

They’re trying to get you crazy - get you out of your head

They feed you scraps and they feed you lies
To lower your defenses, no compromise
Nothing you can do, they day can be long

You mind is working overtime, you body’s not too strong
Hold on, hold on

They put you in a box so you can’t get heard
Let your spirit stay unbroken, may you not be deterred

Hold on, you have gambled with your own life
And you face the night alone
While the builders of the cages
They sleep with bullets, bars and stone

They do not see your road to freedom
That you build with flesh and bone

Hold on, hold on

They put you in a box so you can’t get heard
Let your spirit stay unbroken, may you not be deterred

Hold on, you have gambled with your own life
And you face the night alone
While the builders of the cages
They sleep with bullets, bars and stone
They do not see your road to freedom
That you build with flesh and bone

Though you may disappear, you’re not forgotten here
And I will say to you, I will do what I can do

You may disappear, you’re not forgotten here
And I will say you you, I will do what I can do
And I will do what I can do
And I will do what I can do

-Wallflower- Peter Gabriel

First "Sermon"

2008-05-15T16:47:00.002-04:00

Here is my first attempt at a Homily- It went very well!

When I was given the opportunity to speak for the first time from the pulpit, I was overjoyed to be able to speak on the Ascension. I’m not sure if you all are aware of what I do on the weekdays. I am a teacher and a visual artist. My training in art during the verrry hazy days of my undergraduate career took me to many galleries and museums all over the east coast and that was my first experience with the Ascension. There are many renditions of the Ascension from our pantheon of art history. We have classical renderings of Christ’s great leap to heaven by Copely, we also have views from Dali, a very devout man – no matter how odd his publicist recommended he should be- we have views from abstract painters who emotionally drag great swaths of color upward to heaven. I could continue with this long dissertation for at least two or three hours, but I would only recommend this if we were all diagnosed with some very odd case of group insomnia…………

So, for the sake of group lucidity, I want to focus on is not the ascension itself, but the guys on the ground and Christ’s promise of the coming of the Holy Spirit, and-by the way- the culmination of our Holy Trinity (Father Son and Holy Spirit), to them and us before the great leap to heaven. They are a faithful group that will find themselves very confused and charged with the dangerous mission of being the body of Christ in this world- most, even our own blessed Andrew, will be martyred in their very near future.

I try to picture how they have may have felt at the end of the miraculous scene – I know that we have all experienced loss. The loss of a loved one can be a devastating event and one that can take a lifetime to reconcile oneself to. Now, imagine yourself as a Disciple- your master and Savior- who has been revealed to you as the son of God, through the transfiguration- has been violently and suddenly taken from you. It was an existence that was the very presence of God made know to you, then it is gone. Then he is revealed to you again with the Resurrection, then he is gone again! I don’t know about you, but I think that without our benefit of hindsight- I would be a little shaken up to say the least!

But, here is the Good News! This time of confusion will be remedied very soon- we are looking forward to the celebration of Pentecost! This is when the Holy Spirit is made apparent to the Apostles. They are no longer alone and all is well because God is inspiring and guiding them to be the Body of Christ in the World through the Holy Spirit. This is promised by Jesus during the Ascension. But if you are like me with my incredible ability to be patient………..it is these few weeks before the amazing and fiery event that is Pentecost that would have driven me nuts. If I would have been there I could imagine myself grabbing after Jesus asking “Hey, excuse me sir, but could you give me a bit of a timeline on this arrival of the Holy Spirit?”

With all seriousness, we must acknowledge the fear that the first members of the Church must have had for their lives and their mission in this world and how exactly where they reassured so they could just carry on?. What must it have been like to be a true believer, a member of the Church and be left staring up at heaven after the Ascension and saying- “Ok guys, what now?”
In the Gospel reading for today- Christ gives us a clue and comfort of how to deal with this time of waiting. The reading is also known as the “High Priestly Prayer”. This prayer is the model for our Prayers of the People and it gives comfort to those who wait. It must have given the Apostles quiet confidence through the reassurance that God has sanctified them and will protect them from the forces that will align against them. This prayer enjoins all of us in the world as a part of a family who is charged to do the work of Jesus in this world. It taught them to pray and to trust, that no matter what God is active and involved in their lives. No matter what happens they are not alone.
These are promises guaranteed by Jesus in the prayer as our only Mediator and advocate.
· Promises that we will be one with God and the Son.
· These promises will be made apparent to the Apostles and to us a modern apostles during Pentecost- when the Holy Spirit descended upon the world and let the world know in no uncertain terms that the Holy Spirit brought the presence of the Father and the Son into our everyday trying, difficult and mundane lives
· This was made apparent to me during the story of my discernment was also a time of waiting and that God will reveal all to us in God’s time- introduce the idea of Kairos
· This time is the difficult time of waiting. A time that we must realize that The Holy Spirit does not command us, it moves with us while we are led to discover inspired answers. It is also a time where we must realize that Christ’s words during the Ascension make the most sense-
· No matter the issue, whether financial, in our relationships, our in our Church- we should be patient as our Church Fathers and Mothers were, we should keep faith during the “times of trial” and “take the long view of time” as the Archbishop of Canterbury says, in other words the Holy Spirit is worth waiting for, as well are the answers in other words- I doubt that the Holy Spirit partakes in knee jerk reactions and thus the RIGHT answers are worth waiting for. We also should strive to remember this in our church life, not only the whole universal catholic church, but within our Anglican Communion as well- places where we are lately confronted with incredibly hard questions. Rowan Williams, the Archbishop of Canterbury- also asserts that “God doesn’t do waste”, in other words take time to wait for the Holy Spirit in your life, this is not wasted time. It is a Holy Time. It is the true model of faithfulness- what we all strive for.

Our father

2008-03-31T09:40:00.003-04:00

I found this translation of the Lord's Prayer in the original Aramaeic. Aramaeic is the language thought to be spoken by Christ-

Abwoom d,bwahmaya
Nethqadash shmakh
Teytey malkuthakh
Nehwey tzevyanach aykanna d'bwahmaya aph b'arha
Hawvlan lachma disunqanan yaomana
Washboqlan khaubayn aykana daph khan shbwoqan l'khayyabayn
Wela tahlan l'nesyuna ela patzan min bisha
Metol dilakhie malkutha wahayla wateshbukhta l'ahlam almin
Ameyn

Our father which art in heaven
Hallowed by thy name
The kingdom come
Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil
For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever.
Amen

Port au Prince

2008-03-24T18:20:00.002-04:00

Mass of white steel
Black bodies shaking
Cheap trucks full of adolescent fight
Boys with guns and whipping rods

Steel clack on concrete
Tortured procession
A slow march on bare feet
Around corners to painful sessions

and God cried

The New Jerusalem

2008-03-24T18:14:00.003-04:00

As I sat through the sermon for the second time on Sunday, as with every Sunday, my mind starts to wonder. I always start thinking about how I would writie a sermon for this particular Bible Lesson. I looked down at the handout and saw the Epistle (New testament letter or Revelation) and I saw it was that harbringer of death and destruction- Revelations. Oh Revelations (cue the Omen theme music), the popular vision of the apocolypse immortalized not only in the Bible, but on screen and page as well. Demi Moore sacrificing herself for the good of the world in the the Seventh Sign, Damien- the cute little antichrist of the Omen, the kid from "Growing Pains" leading us through the snares of the Apocolypse in the Left Behind Series.

Wow, this is heavy forbodding stuff full of sea demons, pillars of fire and hellish judgement- not very fun stuff for a religion that proposes to be all about love. This book of the Bible (that came very close to not making it into the Canon according to many New Testament Historians) has fulled some of the worst genocidial atrocities the world has ever seen. Immediately my mind races back to the history of the first crusade and the murderous slaughter of all the non Christian inhabitants of Jerusalem and how promises of a judgement of "worthy to enter the kingdom of heaven" would be bestowed upon the perpetraitors of these crimes. This is difficult stuff until we start to remeber some of the passges of Revelations that seem to be right on cue with our Christian ethics. The passages that I am thinking of are the passages that describe one of William Blake's recurring themes. That is the New Jerusalem. The New Jerusalem is depicted as a city that takes care of all of our needs through God. There is no sun or moon, just the light of God. there is no need for Food, the tree of life provides all the fruits that humankind will need to survive.

I wonder if St John the Divene is not talking about a Kingdom of Heaven on Earth that is the New Jerusalem. A Kingdom of Conscience, of Compassion and Love. The New Jerusalem that can be achieved through the right actions of human kind. this could be a kingdom of God manifested as Love that is the Alpha and Omega, the beginning until the end.In this kingdom, according to Revelations, there would be no need for the temple. We would worship God everywhere and all of the time- through right action. We would be a unified kingdom of Priests, Shamans, Swamis, Monks, Nuns, Pastors, Sheiks, Imams and Rabbis leading each other to a Holy and Beautiful life, with and through God. There would be no need for a weekly retreat into spirituality because it would be an everpresent reality everywhere and always.This is the Revelation I want to know more about. This is a New Jerusalem that we can build and find through tolerence, love, sacred activism, compassion and conscience. Let's get to work

Discernment

2008-03-24T18:07:00.002-04:00

This post is an excerpt from my Spiritual Autobiography that is a part of the discernment process for the Holy Order of Priests in the Episcopal Church USA. Some have been curious, so here it goes......

This journey of vocation was began behind the altar of St Andrews Episcopal Church in Morehead City. It was and is the Quickening one receives when they are behind the altar and they are enveloped by the air that is inhabited by the Holy Spirit. This renewal that happens, not only for myself as a leader of Compline, a Lay Eucharist Minister, or a leader of Evening Prayer, but to know I am part of the other members of Laity’s renewal makes me complete. The need to immerse myself in the full administration of the sacraments is a visceral pull that I have felt as the pull of God. When I had run back to the embracing arms of the Church, I was one searching for a contemplative vocation. I found that piece of my spiritual needs through Merton, Blessed Julian of Norwich, St. Francis, and Blessed Hildegard von Bingen. I attended the 8am services at St Andrews, the less people the better. I only wanted my Priest, and The Spirit to be present. I sat in the front to immerse myself in the sacred and solemn Rite 1 Eucharist, in recollection I think I sat in the front to shut out the rest of the world- including the congregation. I joined the order of Julian as an associate and follow the rule of life according to the order. I thought I was sated. This feeling of satisfaction lasted only so long. I was basking in the light of the reality of Christ, but not sharing it as true monastics and Christians do. I was hording the love of Christ. I was going against my natural tendency to share and be apart of community. I then decided to try to become a more intentional member of community.

I started attending the 10:00 service as well as the 8:00 celebration of Holy Eucharist; both were satisfying in different ways. The 8 am service played to my thirst for solemn contemplation, the 10am service plays toward my desire for community and that love for community and, I am convinced, a call from God convinced me to follow a vocation, which according to Apostolic Succession is to be one of Christ’s representatives on Earth.

That call for community, incidentally my third desire, has drawn me deeper into the parish as well as sent me out to the Episcopal Church on a Diocesan level, as a new delegate to the Convention, as well as the national level, by attending the inauguration/ installation of the Most Reverend Katherine Jefferts-Shori as our Presiding Bishop. These experiences, albeit after the Discernment process has begun, have cemented my belief that the Church and the servant leadership role a Presbyter is my call from God. Through this institution my need for intentional community is made manifest. It is manifest on a nuclear level by my wonderful family. It is a family that when it was begun had no idea in what god had planned for me and my family. My wife, Maggie, has wholeheartedly embraced my vocation; she too is one that sees life as a time period in which to pursue a vocation with all of ones heart and soul. Through her work with the environment at Trinity Center’s Sound to Sea Program or volunteer services in the Peace Corp, volunteer service with Mother Teresa in Calcutta, or her favorite vocation: Mother to our beautiful boys Liam and Finn, and finally her vocation as wife to me: an awed husband.

With all of this exposure, I feel that this church in all of it’s canonical levels represents what is right with Organized Religion, the love, the understanding, the grace, and the inclusiveness- all of the things Christ brought to this world makes the Episcopal Church USA, despite it’s internal struggle with schism, the brightest beacon in these times of turmoil, change, and fracture in our world and our Church. This beacon has never been made more apparent than by the embracing of the Millennium Development Goals by the General Convention in 2006. This is a testament to, even during our strife, the Episcopal Church’s commitment to bringing Christ’s message of the Beatitudes to our world. It is a mission of creating Christ’s Kingdom of Heaven on Earth where the politics of love, peace, and compassion reign. I also see the Episcopal Church working on a local level. Sometimes this mission is not seen or recognized by Episcopalians.

On any given day of the week Priests are espousing the reality of Christ in our lives, and sometimes more importantly teaching us how to illuminate, not only our own hearts, but the darkness that is found so often in our secular world.

Priests are also known as “Pastors”, this is a word that has it’s origins in the Greek language. It translates loosely as “shepherd”. This is a very illuminating theological concept in my humble opinion and it creates an interesting illustration. If a Priest, or pastor, is to do their job correctly, they are to celebrate the sacraments as well as lead their flock. The shepherd must lead his flock to a place where their wool can be utilized by people for warmth. A Priest does very much the same thing, instead of wool being the commodity; the Priest leads his or her flock to give the loving warmth of Christ to the world. Sheep, as well as people, need guidance to deliver these works of value. Human members of our Christian community are not sheep, they are made in the image of God by God and God has endowed us with compassion, love, intelligence and free will. With this gift of “free will” comes responsibility. The responsibility of this gift is to make sure that, as Christians, we strive to uphold our baptismal vows. As our maturity as Christians develops free will also challenges us in our other vows- such as marriage, confirmation, monastic vows, and ordination. Just how do we deal with free will as Christians? As a society that is stepped with values that place values such as greed and the acquisition of wealth, the killing of people in the name of justice or convenience, and comfort and ease at the expense of others, God’s gift of free will can be used as a license to fill one’s life with material wealth, but leave the coffers of our soul empty. The definition of sin is putting our needs before God’s needs. God need’s us to believe and use the gifts he has given to us for his greater glory. If I, as a Priest, can influence the farmer to feed, the doctor to heal, the DA not to pursue the “final solution”, the banker to not foreclose due to convenience, the prejudice to love, and leaders and citizens to have compassion, and put God’s love before selfish needs- we will live in a world where Christ will reign.

Through delivering the rejuvenating power of the sacraments, where the people are fed the mystical body of Christ and made whole again and through strong servant leadership, a Priest can be a catalyst for Christ’s Kingdom on Earth to be made a reality. Humanities’ spirituality will turn into a reality. The reality of Christ in our lives and transmitted to the world through us. I want to do God’s will and be a part of the new renaissance of our faith: a faith in the love of God; The Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit and a world in which all are fed, free, rich in the gifts of the Spirit, and loved. It is a world where we love and are loved- through Christ.

This responsibility of Vocation is beautiful and horrible at the same time. Realizing God’s will manifest in us as a Vocation is the ultimate two sided proposition; a charge that is a burden, as well as an honor filled sense of purpose. The respected Trappist Monk and author Thomas Merton put it very well in his journal: “……our joy is to be led by Him to the thing He desires, even though that thing be in some way terrible. As soon as He desires it, it ceases to be “our will.” It becomes a sacrifice. It demands a gift of our whole being. It is so with the priesthood”. This quote spoke volumes to me. How easy it would be to go through life as a person who amassed wealth for his own and his family’s profit, a life that turned a blind eye toward the world, God, and ignored the incessant invitations from the Spirit that whisper, and occasionally scream, “You are to be a Priest”. How easy, and how empty, that life would be.

All vocations to the Priesthood contain a desire to administer sacraments. This is one of the most visceral pulls and one of the first signs of a vocation that I felt. While watching Father John Pollock, and subsequently all Priests, deliver sacraments and preside over the Eucharist; it has filled me with a Spirit inspired yearning. It was yearning to be behind the Altar, singing, praying, moving my body in consecratory motions, the handling of the elements, the breaking of the bread and the blessings. All of these motions I look at with a quickened heart. It feels like the anticipation one experiences being in love and waiting for their soul mate to appear at the door. But, therein lies the frustration. This yearning to deliver the sacraments is the most obvious and most difficult desire to convey, and I have found it, frankly, frustrating. When I find myself pulled toward something, I research it and try to make the heart felt desires coincide with my thinking and empirical self. This has not worked. I find it hard to put into words the concrete reason that the sacraments are so powerful. All of the books that I have pored over have been contradictory and vague. One source has described the Eucharist as the continual feeding of the flesh and blood of Christ’s sacrifice to us. Other sources have called it the offering of gifts of flesh and blood to God, especially in the BCP Eucharist Rite 2 through the Offertory. I have found transubstantiation, and forty other theological concepts, which I have no grasp of, to be daunting and baffling. But, that’s OK; I have now come to believe that the Eucharist is something that Christ mandated us to do. When he said “Do this in the remembrance of me” God gave us a mandate. Are we supposed to understand “these Holy Mysteries” of the Eucharist? Which is more powerful, the Quickening ones soul receives at the Lords table or the empirical reasons for this? Would one rather be in Love or understand “love”? This “adventure” in the sacraments has been frustrating, angered, joyous, and finally peaceful. The best way to describe my vocation in terms of administration of the sacraments is desire and yearning. There is no way to quantify the desire and this God mandated yearning. I can only say that I feel it at the very core of my God given being. I feel the desire to administer these rites to give the congregation the quickening of Christ’s love, to feel the Spirit move through them that they may be a beacon of Christ to the world; so that all the Baptized may live out their vows, which is the Priest’s ultimate goal, and Christ may live through us in the world.

Poverty and Global Warming

2008-03-24T17:57:00.002-04:00

The following is an op ed piece written by the Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church, Katharine Jefferts Shori, for the San Francisco Chronicle on May 20, 2007

Before I became a priest, I was a professor of oceanography. One of the things I learned was that oceanographers couldn't just study squid or fish in isolation. We had to study interconnected systems. We had to understand not only the animals' environment, such as the water, but its chemistry and circulation, the atmosphere above the ocean and the geology below it. And that, I believe, is how we must understand our world: We must see everything, and everyone, as interconnected and intended by God to live in relationship.
Two of the most significant crises facing our world -- climate change and deadly poverty -- offer an example of such interconnectedness. By understanding how the two crises, and the people they affect, are connected, we can begin to understand how humanity can triumph over both. Extreme poverty -- that is, poverty that kills -- afflicts more than a billion of God's people around the world. Nearly 30,000 of these people will die today. That's 1 every 3 seconds. The factors that propel this kind of deadly poverty include hunger, diseases like AIDS and malaria, conflict, lack of access to education, and basic inequality. Climate change threatens to make the picture even more deadly. As temperature changes increase the frequency and intensity of severe-weather events around the world, poor countries -- which often lack infrastructural needs like storm walls and water-storage facilities -- will divert previous resources away from fighting poverty in order to respond to disaster. Warmer climates will also increase the spread of diseases like malaria and tax the ability of poor countries to respond adequately. Perhaps most severely, changed rain patterns will increase the prevalence of drought in places like Africa, where only 4 percent of cropped land is irrigated, leaving populations without food and hamstrung in their ability to trade internationally to generate income.
Conversely, just as climate change will exacerbate poverty, poverty also is hastening climate change. Most poor people around the world lack access to a reliable-energy source, an imbalance that must be addressed in any attempt to lift a community out of poverty. Unfortunately, financial necessity often forces the choice of energy sources such as oil and coal that threaten to expand significantly the world's greenhouse emissions and thus accelerate the effects of climate change. This cycle -- poverty that begets climate change, and vice versa -- threatens the future of all people, rich and poor alike, and of all things in the world that God so loves.
This relationship between deadly poverty and the health of creation was not lost on the world's leaders when, at the turn of the 21st century, they committed to an ambitious yet attainable plan to cut global poverty in half by 2015. This plan, which established the eight Millennium Development Goals, included a specific pledge to create environmental sustainability. 2007 marks the halfway point in the world's effort to achieve these goals, and while progress has been impressive in some places, we're nowhere close to halfway there. President Bush and other world leaders have made bold commitments, but many of them have yet to be realized. How can the United States help put the world back on track?
First, our nation should make good on the promises it has made to expand foreign aid targeted at fighting poverty, cancel the debts of poor countries and seek fairer international-trade rules that allow people living in poverty to empower themselves in the fight against poverty.
Second, our nation's leaders should recognize the emerging consensus that we can no longer ignore our role in safeguarding the health and balance of God's creation. We must take seriously our share in the global responsibility for reducing carbon emissions, and work with other nations to provide the resources and technology transfers that will allow poor countries to address their energy needs through clean-energy sources that will not hasten the rate of climate change.
Of course, it is not the United States alone that needs to deliver. When the leaders of the G8 meet in early June in Germany, climate change will be at the top of their agenda. The health and well-being of Africa is also on the agenda, but much further down. Now is an ideal time for Americans to write, call, or e-mail President Bush and urge him to work with other leaders in the G8 to consider climate change and deadly poverty side-by-side as facets of the same problem. The good news is that Americans are getting involved like never before. Faith communities like the Episcopal Church, from which I come, are organizing in communities all over the country, as are citizens from many other walks of life. Millions of Americans have joined the call for comprehensive solutions to poverty through efforts like ONE: The Campaign to Make Poverty History, and groups like the UN Millennium Campaign are working with citizens in all parts of the world. To be successful, though, the effort needs even more voices. It needs all of us.
At the very beginning of the Judeo-Christian Scriptures, we hear of God's creation of the universe and his proclamation that the whole of it is very good. Ultimately, this story is an account of relationships: the bond of love between God and the world, and the interconnectivity of all people and all things in that world. It is only when we take seriously those relationships -- when we realize that all people have a stake in the health and well-being of all others and of the Earth itself -- that creation can truly begin to realize the abundant life that God intends for every one of us.
The Most Rev. Katharine Jefferts SchoriPresiding Bishop and PrimateThe Episcopal Church

Action

2008-03-24T17:55:00.004-04:00

So the weekend was interesting, we were blessed with a visit from my brother in laws, sister in law and my new nephew. It was a challenging weekend in one respect, though. Changing Baby Sleep patterns........my heart ached for the intreped new parents as they very sweetly navigated the harrowing sleep deprived nights of baby- little Will in a new place.As sleep deprived as I was, I probably looked worse for the wear than they did, being a sleep whimp, seeing that my card carrying status of newborn sleep warrior had been revoked about two years ago. I now have massive problems making it through Mystery! on Sunday nights. But, I digress.

This all affected Church on a very different level than I had expected. When I arrived in Church, I remembered that it was Trinity Sunday and I knew the sermon would be based on very dense Athanasian Theology sprinkled with a dab of Augustine, with a garnish of Patrick's Shamrock (like Porterhouse, Mashed Potatoes, Cheesecake, with a milkshake- good while going down, but rough on the system- albeit theological- 15 minutes later). My mind was already racing when my Priest climbed into the pulpit, I braced for the theological valium and was in fear for my lucidity. But, I was so surprised and awakened by what my Priest said that I was moved to think about the Trinity and God's trinitarian nature.

So, here goes some electronic valium from me to you-To contemplate the Trinity I am finding that I must get away from the idea of three seperate beings. In many protestant traditions, including the Methodism of my youth, you hear "sweet Jesus" and "my lord Jesus" not a lot of God the Father mentioned. In more Pentacostal groups I hear a lot about the Holy Spirit moving through them- but not alot of the God the Father. With Pentacostals this makes perfect sense, their "denomination" takes it's founding theology from the book of Acts which is very heavy on the Holy Spirit. these are very wonderful views of God and valid. But, I wonder if when we identify, through either theology or tradition, with a certain Trinitarian incarnation of God we, I think, are putiing God into a mighty "small box" as Presiding Bishop Katharine Jefferts Shori called it.When I say that we are putiing God into a box we are limiting God's capabilities, or at least not recognizing them.

The Trinity that demands that we attempt to take in all of the aspects and grandness of God and God's omnipetience is a concept of action not of being. The deed or "factum" basis for understanding the Trinity is one of recognizing the actions of God- the things that touch us and our being to the core. These actions bring the cold theology of being into the action of creation, turning water into wine, the raising of the dead, the feeding of the multitude, the reedemption and sacrifice, and hopefully the eradication of poverty in our lifetimes. When we speak of God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit; are we not speaking of God the Creator, the Son as the Advocate, Mediator and Redeemer, and the Holy Spirit as Speaker and Mover? So how does this explanation that sounds like a corporate mystical job description define our triune God? If we take all of the water in the Universe and try to water down the Trinity (and Im sure no amount would do it, but indulge me) we can see the difference.

We have all heard the adage "that is what I do, not who I am". When one examines the Triune God through the lense of "factum" we can see how when one is at work he or she is a teacher, soldier, doctor etc., but they still maintain a reality that is seperate from what they do. I was once in the Coast Guard, so at one time I was a rescuer, I am also a father, and at the same time I am a teacher, but I am and always will be "me". If we take this very pale analogy and apply it to the Trinity, we can see the Father and the Acts of Creation, and the Acts of Judgement, We see Christ and we see the God through the action of incarnation into the flesh and the action of redeeming the world, we can see, or more accurately feel, the Holy Spirit teach move and speaking to us. When we accept God' s role as an active part in our lives, not just a thing on the perifiery that gives laws and judges us at the end, we can act and work for the creation of God's Heaven on Earth. We can understand that our God is a god of Action and as his people we are a people of action. If the easier and literal definition of God from the Gospel of John is "God is Love", let's put the love of God into Action and get to work.

Dame Julian

2008-03-24T17:50:00.001-04:00

I am on retreat at Mepkin Abbey in South Carolina as I begin this writing. It is a much needed retreat. During the summer I have had many responsibilities given to me at my parish and through my diocese. They are much too mundane and sound as a litany of complaint to list them all, so I will spare you and anyone else the itemized list. I do feel comfortable in saying that it has been hectic.

All of these responsibilities bring me to make a comparison about responsibilities in my spiritual vocation and those of everyday life. As I dwell more and more into the Gospels themselves and into the sacred activism of Christ; I feel more inclined to be a person who follows and Shepard others to Christ through works of social justice in the world, as well as the sacraments and not through contemplation.

This is where the comparison comes in and the appreciation of my year as an Associate in the Order of Julian comes to life. When I work on the projects assigned to me, or requested of me, I am a frenzy of activity. There are many deadlines to meet, as well as liturgies, dioceses communications issues, not to mention a refugee family from Burma, counting on me to make aspects of all projects happen. This is not to mention my "day job" as a teacher. Sometimes during this process you can lose site of what is really the most important things in your life. This is where my wife and two young children come into play. While I am out there trying to "heal the world'; I can not look away from those nearest me. I must help them and receive their help and comfort in these times of activity and discernment. The comparison that I want to make concerning my love for social activism, the Gospel, and Christ Jesus and the order is the same as my need for action coupled with my need for family.

While working constantly on the outreach and mission of the church, I have at times found myself forgetting why I had started this in the first place. Moving furniture for a refugee family can easily start to feel like manual labor if you lose sight of the big picture of hospitality and the messages of the Gospel. The contemplative and disciplined nature of the order has done allot to help me feel more of the presence of Christ not only at my place of prayer, but at the church office, computer, the phone and the back of a moving van.

I must admit there was a time when I doubted my affiliation with a strictly contemplative order. I have felt that social justice, and sacred activism where the key to being close to Christ. I even considered discerning for the Third order of Franciscans. I have decided against that now. The time I experienced those feelings has made me a stronger Associate and made me realize that while Christ calls me to act, Dame Julian helps me appreciate the action.

Alyssa

2008-03-18T12:47:00.003-04:00

Sitting in an overstuffed chair
that is seems to be in the wrong environment
Arms crossed with incredulity
A scowl to accompany the wires emerging from her ears.

Legs move up to mimic the Buddha
Lotus flower visions cut short by slamming pencil
Scream to heaven about the inequity of it all
Head sways to the left and eyes fall

Showers

2008-03-10T14:37:00.004-04:00

She moves with unpurposed grace
Glistening nude turban bearer

Softer, gentler,
soft kid glove that fits my hand

Soft blue pools of acquiescence
Spine of banded steel

Ebb and Flow

2008-03-09T21:47:00.001-04:00

The barren landscape of seemingly rotting nose
Giving life to the mud and the movers
Primeval movements that, unknowingly, give us glimpses
To the subtle horizon of God

The wind empties and oxygen floods
Oceans Move and tempest rages
Gives life and takes-
material and life with the pressure of the air

Moving towards it feet are taken
Legs cut by organic razor
Nostrils burn from it’s inaccessible beauty
There, the microcosm and God moves alone

Chinese Fortune Cookie Theology

2008-03-09T21:22:00.005-04:00

I am utterly amazed at the ability of very educated theologians and clergy's ability to use the Bible like a fortune cookie. When I say a fortune cookie, I mean the action of tearing into the fortune cookie and blindly finding the veritable answers to all of life's questions. Of course, I am no expert. I listen and try to discern the best practices from more experienced members of my community to their advice and one thing that is universal. It is the confirmation of the whole being the sum of all of it's parts. In other words, it is the whole of the Bible, the beautifully challenging, purposefully dense, maddening, and ultimately divine book that we Christians use as our guide towards our ethical temporary existense on this mortal coil. What an amazing sin it must be to take small parts of the Bible and use it to propogate dissention and despair. This is a despair and hurt that is born of a human generated judgment. This judgement is an action that has no validity or authority for one who believes in God's unique providence to judge.

I have had people tell me I belong to a church in trouble. When I ask why, they
let me know about verses that are quite difficult and challenging when they are applied to some of the current issues facing all of the church. It just so happens that my church is having an open conversation instead of a closed one, and many think that is all the Episcopal Church is about. When speaking to me about our "troubles" I am usually confronted by a litany of scripture that persecutes the Church and raise many questions that are worthy of further discussion. The verses are verses that warn and sentence peolpe to seculsion and damnation with a very cut and dry judgement if taken on their own. Without reading the surrounding verses, or, much less, the entire Bible, the legalistic suffering that would be imposed on Humanity would truly be devastating . I think that we find an easy Bible, with the simplicity of fortune cookie like wisdom passed out in convienet sentences, much more comfortable than the challenging beautiful thing that is our Book of scripture. In other words, it is must be very difficult to be orthodox about the verses of Dueteronomy dealing with sexuality when one continues to eat shrimp and wear poly cotton blends, which is also forbidden.

So when searching for the answers to lifes sticky and ethical questions, please, go to the Bible. Please go to the whole Bible in all of it's glorious confusion and revelation. Who said God was easy?

Got Burnt

2008-02-26T16:23:00.004-05:00

You know, it is very hard to put your money where your mouth is.

As a Christian, and one who is going to be a Priest for "you know who's" sake, I should forgive and not judge. We'll it became totally clear today that walking the walk must sometimes be done in a wheel chair. One of my top five materialistic possessions was stolen today. My sturdy ipod has gone away................

I was at my job teaching, and I was completing a unit on Mozart. I know I teach art, but I wanted the kids to know that that the art of the Rococo period had some redeeming accomplishment associated with it. So anyway, I took my kids to break and someone did not close the door behind them.

We'll lets just say the open door was taken advantage of and the ipod was stolen. It wasn't a great ipod, only 20 GB in a world of terabytes. It would be easily replaceable if I wasn't preparing to go to Seminary. But, how do you go about replacing a material object that you dont have to have, when you usually rale against our need for materialistic "things".

Seems to be a bit hypocritical doesnt it?

It is and I readily admit it. It is just a bit maddening to be a guy in which music is such an integral part of their life. It is my tool for contemplative prayer, I can't work out without tunes either. Im the geek who lovingly arranges his playlist by genre and sub categories within genres. I'm the guy who bought a new car stereo for the ipod. I make roadtrip playlists for my wife.....

I think I'm going to be a mess for a while, a pissed off mess.

But, I guess it will be alright to be a pissed off mess for a while even if your going to be a Priest. A Priest that I known gave a homily that said that when he is asked "Are you a Christian?", he always replies "I hope to be". In other words, he's still working on it. So, this will pass. I'll get a new ipod, albeit with less GB and so small that Tapis restaurants serve sides of meat larger than it, so small that I will need a necklace around my neck so not to lose it like a latch key kids first key in seventh grade.

But, for now I'll be messed up and pissed off, for a little while.....just a bit maybe.

How to say "I F**ked Up"

2008-02-21T09:48:00.000-05:00

WARNING- This blog is a bit of a rant, so if you want reconciliatory tones
this is not the blog you want to read. When we find ourselves on the ragged edge of the parabolic curve of truth- why not exorcise the anger by constructively, logically working through it with words. If we used words, maybe many messes could be avoided. Sometimes, we all get a bit angry about the state of the world and expectations that are put upon people. Sometimes, I get a little perturbed with the seemingly ever increasing oxymoronic turns this world can give us. For example, pro -life and pro-death penalty. Keep em alive until they piss us off...... (That felt good, see words work!)

But, that's enough for now I'll blog on that one later..................

Here goes -

I was reading the journal meditation for today. It was about the fear of failure. In my life the fear of failure was not about fearing imperfection, but being so insecure that I could not admit failure. It was not like I was a coward who knew I made a mistake. I was actually convinced that it was always someone besides myself who was to blame for all of the Earth's, as well as my problems. I finally figured out it was my esteem that did not allow me to own mistakes. It was the lack of self respect I had for myself that forced me to maintain a perfect self image. In other words, I could not own up to mistakes because that would make me (gasp) human...........

In other words, "Unable to accept ourselves as we really are, we wear ourselves out in an effort to become unimpeachable"

I guess this means one of the greatest gifts is be able to say with hearty bravado "I fecked up"* and mean it with all of your heart. *(I'm using feck instead of "the other", due to the popularity of feck vs "the other" with Irish clergy)

Go on, you'll enjoy it so much.

So let's examine "I fecked up" in it's proper place in our society. Let us ponder the good times to use this most useful of all F bombs and when to not.

How does this fit in with our lives on a regular and global basis. We see our leaders "f up" all of the time. As an Anglican, I was painfully aware of blunders being made when the Archbishop of Canterbury made some comments that were not really ready for "prime time soundbyte land" about sharia law in the UK. The speech he gave was dense. Perhaps, to his own detrament he failed to realize he now has a global audience. He failed to realize that all of those guys with microphones and cameras were going to transmit all that he said to all of the whole world. Not only that, but they were going to transmit only what they wanted the world to hear to the world. This would logically mean, in our free market were media is the king of all commodities, that the most entertaining would be published.

It is fair to say that the Archbishop speaks in dense prose, a prose that is not easily transferable to the quick sound byte. To his defense, the Archbishop did speak on the "gaff of intellligence" at the Church of Englands Synod where he explained his position very thoroughly. He also published a "What I really said" article on his website. the controversy is no longer on the top of world news on my Google News, so I sigh with relief.

So, how does this pertain to the "I fecked up" rule?

When you cause a commotion because of words, you are clear. No need to drop the glorious redeming penitital "f" bomb. I am glad the Archbishop did not apologize for thinking and speaking deeply. In fact, I trust that most of us want a leader smarter than ourselves.

Now, with your permission, I move to a totally different application of the ethical use of "I fecked up". Some of you may have guessed that I am an Anglican. While this is true, I am also an American and I live with one of the most outrageous failures to obey the "I fecked up" rule.

I am speaking, of course, of the "opsa daisy" that has been our foreign policy for the last 8 years.When this country has tortured, bombed, killed and maimed thousands (inclusively- not for each previous category, but I guess that depends on your definition of torture), due to an intelligence mistake. I would say "I fecked up" is most apt. It is apt to say it to the Iraqi people, the American troops and their families and especially the Iraqi, American, and Coalition orphans. It is apt to say this to the victims of sectarian violence.

I do know that the possibility of a better nation exist for the Iraqis. I also know Saddam Hussein was probably not a misunderstood freedom fighter, neither is Castro, but there is no shock and awe over Havanna or Darfur, for that matter. So, I am a little concerned about the logical applications of our "Regime Change Policy" and the criteria for picking out the next suitable regime to be changed.

What is done is done and we have a mess on our hands, and unfortunately theirs. But, I still would love for someone to stand up and say "I'm sorry, We fecked up". Hopefully,and I pray this will happen soon, this will be done at a venue that the "F bomb" will be inapppropriate- after all children will be present.

So, for the penitental season of Lent let's apologize, not only to God, but our neighbor- all of our neighbors.

Ecstatic Vision and Sinful Frenzy

2008-02-19T21:04:00.000-05:00

"The step between Ecstatic Vision and Sinful Frenzy is all to brief"- Umberto Eco

This quote reminds me of the problems that our spirituality, whether secular or non secular, that we must confront and come to grips with all of the time. The problem is an inability to bend. Is our spirituality a reed blowing with the winds of our times that rejuvinates with nurturing or a brittle unyielding concrete pillar? When our spirituality (whether beliefs, faith, or the absence of any) becomes unyeilding it breeds intolerence and a type of legalistic dogma that does not reconcile, it seperates. All of the great faith and spiritual traditions expound love over hate, and compassion over intolerance. No matter what tradition one walks in- the view of the higher truth (whether it be mindfulness, God, compassion, or humanities oneness with nature) always shows forth a route laced with compassion.

This is where the quote comes in- While we are all wrapped in the ecstasy of being a part of something larger, something divine, we must watch to make sure that these intense feelings of inclusivness and enlightenment do not put us into a frame of mind that breeds predjudice and condesention. This is the sinfullness of exclusive sects. Sects that condemn one to hell (or at least the secular contention that one is destined to live a life of stupidity) really miss the point of the inclusivness and reconciliation of spirituality.

In November of 2006, I was lucky enough to be able to attend the installation of the Episcopal Churches' new Presiding Bishop, Katharine Jefferts Shori at the National Cathedral.While there I was overjoyed to see representatives of all of some of the great faith traditions. Buddhist, Moslem, Hindu, Jewish and many different sects of my own tradition Christainity. This made me feel very much a part of a community which values and respects other faith traditions. According to some theologians, other faith traditions have insights that are different from ours, these insights do not make us any less of an adherent to our own traditions. They can even bolster our own adherence to our respective traditions and add to our own spiritual maturity.This respected voice adds"-"After all, we dont have gods, we have God" and I will add- "if God is love- dont we all have love?" Is love, no matter what tradition or way it shows up, not an ecstatic vision for the world?

Moral Voting?

2008-02-19T20:04:00.000-05:00

We have all been inundated by the claim that moral issues are at the center of our public and political brokenness. We witness atrocities and blame the culture of our nation, and now since globalization, the world. We blame a lack of Faith and piety for all that ails our country and the world. We are electing leaders that promote themselves as the "saviors" of America's "moral high ground". These leaders have focused on issues like choice, same sex marriage, and stem cell research and carried them into the battles of election season. Many people have voted for them in the name of ethics and moral righteousness. I must, also, admit that my beliefs make some of the views I held as a college student hard to justify. But, I must ask what are the real issues that are being voted for and, more importantly, what moral issues are being left out of the discussion? As a follower of Christ and a student of other traditions, I am unfortunately angered by the contentions of some that our morality depends on very narrow issues. These issues are important. No matter how one feels, they help define us as a people; they are a part of our culture. My anger comes from the idea that most of these moral issues are issues of comfort. In other words, same sex marriage, and other "moral issues" make some in our population uncomfortable. If these issues were truly moral, why would we not be addressing the issue that deals with the millions of children without health insurance? Why would we not be addressing poverty in this country, unfair trade practices within the third world perpetrated by American Corporations. Why are we neglecting Darfur? Can a normal person afford to run for public office or have we created a pseudo republic? Will our children be able to simply breathe and survive on our planet?When thinking about the upcoming choices we will make as Americans, I know that I will have some compromises to make. Hopefully the reconciling and compassionate nature of my faith and all of our different traditions will shine forth. I hope morality will become more than an issue of comfort to us all.

Burlap Underwear and Lent

2008-02-19T17:24:00.001-05:00

Ever get stuck trying to figure out something to give up for Lent?

I think we all go through it. We ask "What's good enough", and make grand statements like "Chocolate is Whimpy" and "Where in the depths of Poopy Land (trying to give up cursing... is that a Good Lenten fast?) is my Hair Shirt". When I was getting really ridiculous and shopping for patterns to make burlap underwear, I was given some kind advice by my Deacon, who said "Dont give up anything- Take something on!"

What a novel idea....................

I was still figuring out what to take on, (and I did give up itunes and amazon, so stock holders should sell now) when my wife gave me journaling book by Joan Chittister. Sister Joan is a Benedictine Nun who gives the Pope a heck of a time with her views on sin, womens ordination, and human sexuality. (she sounds like an Episcopalian to me. I wonder if anyone has invited her to take a walk on our side..................). Anyway, this book is a very special gift to me. This is due to the fact that my wife is not exactly what you would call overly religious. In other words, my wife's friends are still howling about the fact that she's going to end up married to a Priest. Howling for two years now.

So, back to the journaling. I will be journaling and reflecting on the journay of Lent with a voice that is less than authoritarian. I will speak with the authority of a mouse in the chancel.