Our father

I found this translation of the Lord's Prayer in the original Aramaeic. Aramaeic is the language thought to be spoken by Christ-

Abwoom d,bwahmaya
Nethqadash shmakh
Teytey malkuthakh
Nehwey tzevyanach aykanna d'bwahmaya aph b'arha
Hawvlan lachma disunqanan yaomana
Washboqlan khaubayn aykana daph khan shbwoqan l'khayyabayn
Wela tahlan l'nesyuna ela patzan min bisha
Metol dilakhie malkutha wahayla wateshbukhta l'ahlam almin
Ameyn

Our father which art in heaven
Hallowed by thy name
The kingdom come
Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil
For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever.
Amen

Port au Prince

Mass of white steel
Black bodies shaking
Cheap trucks full of adolescent fight
Boys with guns and whipping rods

Steel clack on concrete
Tortured procession
A slow march on bare feet
Around corners to painful sessions

and God cried

The New Jerusalem

As I sat through the sermon for the second time on Sunday, as with every Sunday, my mind starts to wonder. I always start thinking about how I would writie a sermon for this particular Bible Lesson. I looked down at the handout and saw the Epistle (New testament letter or Revelation) and I saw it was that harbringer of death and destruction- Revelations. Oh Revelations (cue the Omen theme music), the popular vision of the apocolypse immortalized not only in the Bible, but on screen and page as well. Demi Moore sacrificing herself for the good of the world in the the Seventh Sign, Damien- the cute little antichrist of the Omen, the kid from "Growing Pains" leading us through the snares of the Apocolypse in the Left Behind Series.

Wow, this is heavy forbodding stuff full of sea demons, pillars of fire and hellish judgement- not very fun stuff for a religion that proposes to be all about love. This book of the Bible (that came very close to not making it into the Canon according to many New Testament Historians) has fulled some of the worst genocidial atrocities the world has ever seen. Immediately my mind races back to the history of the first crusade and the murderous slaughter of all the non Christian inhabitants of Jerusalem and how promises of a judgement of "worthy to enter the kingdom of heaven" would be bestowed upon the perpetraitors of these crimes. This is difficult stuff until we start to remeber some of the passges of Revelations that seem to be right on cue with our Christian ethics. The passages that I am thinking of are the passages that describe one of William Blake's recurring themes. That is the New Jerusalem. The New Jerusalem is depicted as a city that takes care of all of our needs through God. There is no sun or moon, just the light of God. there is no need for Food, the tree of life provides all the fruits that humankind will need to survive.

I wonder if St John the Divene is not talking about a Kingdom of Heaven on Earth that is the New Jerusalem. A Kingdom of Conscience, of Compassion and Love. The New Jerusalem that can be achieved through the right actions of human kind. this could be a kingdom of God manifested as Love that is the Alpha and Omega, the beginning until the end.In this kingdom, according to Revelations, there would be no need for the temple. We would worship God everywhere and all of the time- through right action. We would be a unified kingdom of Priests, Shamans, Swamis, Monks, Nuns, Pastors, Sheiks, Imams and Rabbis leading each other to a Holy and Beautiful life, with and through God. There would be no need for a weekly retreat into spirituality because it would be an everpresent reality everywhere and always.This is the Revelation I want to know more about. This is a New Jerusalem that we can build and find through tolerence, love, sacred activism, compassion and conscience. Let's get to work

Discernment

This post is an excerpt from my Spiritual Autobiography that is a part of the discernment process for the Holy Order of Priests in the Episcopal Church USA. Some have been curious, so here it goes......

This journey of vocation was began behind the altar of St Andrews Episcopal Church in Morehead City. It was and is the Quickening one receives when they are behind the altar and they are enveloped by the air that is inhabited by the Holy Spirit. This renewal that happens, not only for myself as a leader of Compline, a Lay Eucharist Minister, or a leader of Evening Prayer, but to know I am part of the other members of Laity’s renewal makes me complete. The need to immerse myself in the full administration of the sacraments is a visceral pull that I have felt as the pull of God. When I had run back to the embracing arms of the Church, I was one searching for a contemplative vocation. I found that piece of my spiritual needs through Merton, Blessed Julian of Norwich, St. Francis, and Blessed Hildegard von Bingen. I attended the 8am services at St Andrews, the less people the better. I only wanted my Priest, and The Spirit to be present. I sat in the front to immerse myself in the sacred and solemn Rite 1 Eucharist, in recollection I think I sat in the front to shut out the rest of the world- including the congregation. I joined the order of Julian as an associate and follow the rule of life according to the order. I thought I was sated. This feeling of satisfaction lasted only so long. I was basking in the light of the reality of Christ, but not sharing it as true monastics and Christians do. I was hording the love of Christ. I was going against my natural tendency to share and be apart of community. I then decided to try to become a more intentional member of community.

I started attending the 10:00 service as well as the 8:00 celebration of Holy Eucharist; both were satisfying in different ways. The 8 am service played to my thirst for solemn contemplation, the 10am service plays toward my desire for community and that love for community and, I am convinced, a call from God convinced me to follow a vocation, which according to Apostolic Succession is to be one of Christ’s representatives on Earth.

That call for community, incidentally my third desire, has drawn me deeper into the parish as well as sent me out to the Episcopal Church on a Diocesan level, as a new delegate to the Convention, as well as the national level, by attending the inauguration/ installation of the Most Reverend Katherine Jefferts-Shori as our Presiding Bishop. These experiences, albeit after the Discernment process has begun, have cemented my belief that the Church and the servant leadership role a Presbyter is my call from God. Through this institution my need for intentional community is made manifest. It is manifest on a nuclear level by my wonderful family. It is a family that when it was begun had no idea in what god had planned for me and my family. My wife, Maggie, has wholeheartedly embraced my vocation; she too is one that sees life as a time period in which to pursue a vocation with all of ones heart and soul. Through her work with the environment at Trinity Center’s Sound to Sea Program or volunteer services in the Peace Corp, volunteer service with Mother Teresa in Calcutta, or her favorite vocation: Mother to our beautiful boys Liam and Finn, and finally her vocation as wife to me: an awed husband.

With all of this exposure, I feel that this church in all of it’s canonical levels represents what is right with Organized Religion, the love, the understanding, the grace, and the inclusiveness- all of the things Christ brought to this world makes the Episcopal Church USA, despite it’s internal struggle with schism, the brightest beacon in these times of turmoil, change, and fracture in our world and our Church. This beacon has never been made more apparent than by the embracing of the Millennium Development Goals by the General Convention in 2006. This is a testament to, even during our strife, the Episcopal Church’s commitment to bringing Christ’s message of the Beatitudes to our world. It is a mission of creating Christ’s Kingdom of Heaven on Earth where the politics of love, peace, and compassion reign. I also see the Episcopal Church working on a local level. Sometimes this mission is not seen or recognized by Episcopalians.

On any given day of the week Priests are espousing the reality of Christ in our lives, and sometimes more importantly teaching us how to illuminate, not only our own hearts, but the darkness that is found so often in our secular world.

Priests are also known as “Pastors”, this is a word that has it’s origins in the Greek language. It translates loosely as “shepherd”. This is a very illuminating theological concept in my humble opinion and it creates an interesting illustration. If a Priest, or pastor, is to do their job correctly, they are to celebrate the sacraments as well as lead their flock. The shepherd must lead his flock to a place where their wool can be utilized by people for warmth. A Priest does very much the same thing, instead of wool being the commodity; the Priest leads his or her flock to give the loving warmth of Christ to the world. Sheep, as well as people, need guidance to deliver these works of value. Human members of our Christian community are not sheep, they are made in the image of God by God and God has endowed us with compassion, love, intelligence and free will. With this gift of “free will” comes responsibility. The responsibility of this gift is to make sure that, as Christians, we strive to uphold our baptismal vows. As our maturity as Christians develops free will also challenges us in our other vows- such as marriage, confirmation, monastic vows, and ordination. Just how do we deal with free will as Christians? As a society that is stepped with values that place values such as greed and the acquisition of wealth, the killing of people in the name of justice or convenience, and comfort and ease at the expense of others, God’s gift of free will can be used as a license to fill one’s life with material wealth, but leave the coffers of our soul empty. The definition of sin is putting our needs before God’s needs. God need’s us to believe and use the gifts he has given to us for his greater glory. If I, as a Priest, can influence the farmer to feed, the doctor to heal, the DA not to pursue the “final solution”, the banker to not foreclose due to convenience, the prejudice to love, and leaders and citizens to have compassion, and put God’s love before selfish needs- we will live in a world where Christ will reign.

Through delivering the rejuvenating power of the sacraments, where the people are fed the mystical body of Christ and made whole again and through strong servant leadership, a Priest can be a catalyst for Christ’s Kingdom on Earth to be made a reality. Humanities’ spirituality will turn into a reality. The reality of Christ in our lives and transmitted to the world through us. I want to do God’s will and be a part of the new renaissance of our faith: a faith in the love of God; The Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit and a world in which all are fed, free, rich in the gifts of the Spirit, and loved. It is a world where we love and are loved- through Christ.

This responsibility of Vocation is beautiful and horrible at the same time. Realizing God’s will manifest in us as a Vocation is the ultimate two sided proposition; a charge that is a burden, as well as an honor filled sense of purpose. The respected Trappist Monk and author Thomas Merton put it very well in his journal: “……our joy is to be led by Him to the thing He desires, even though that thing be in some way terrible. As soon as He desires it, it ceases to be “our will.” It becomes a sacrifice. It demands a gift of our whole being. It is so with the priesthood”. This quote spoke volumes to me. How easy it would be to go through life as a person who amassed wealth for his own and his family’s profit, a life that turned a blind eye toward the world, God, and ignored the incessant invitations from the Spirit that whisper, and occasionally scream, “You are to be a Priest”. How easy, and how empty, that life would be.

All vocations to the Priesthood contain a desire to administer sacraments. This is one of the most visceral pulls and one of the first signs of a vocation that I felt. While watching Father John Pollock, and subsequently all Priests, deliver sacraments and preside over the Eucharist; it has filled me with a Spirit inspired yearning. It was yearning to be behind the Altar, singing, praying, moving my body in consecratory motions, the handling of the elements, the breaking of the bread and the blessings. All of these motions I look at with a quickened heart. It feels like the anticipation one experiences being in love and waiting for their soul mate to appear at the door. But, therein lies the frustration. This yearning to deliver the sacraments is the most obvious and most difficult desire to convey, and I have found it, frankly, frustrating. When I find myself pulled toward something, I research it and try to make the heart felt desires coincide with my thinking and empirical self. This has not worked. I find it hard to put into words the concrete reason that the sacraments are so powerful. All of the books that I have pored over have been contradictory and vague. One source has described the Eucharist as the continual feeding of the flesh and blood of Christ’s sacrifice to us. Other sources have called it the offering of gifts of flesh and blood to God, especially in the BCP Eucharist Rite 2 through the Offertory. I have found transubstantiation, and forty other theological concepts, which I have no grasp of, to be daunting and baffling. But, that’s OK; I have now come to believe that the Eucharist is something that Christ mandated us to do. When he said “Do this in the remembrance of me” God gave us a mandate. Are we supposed to understand “these Holy Mysteries” of the Eucharist? Which is more powerful, the Quickening ones soul receives at the Lords table or the empirical reasons for this? Would one rather be in Love or understand “love”? This “adventure” in the sacraments has been frustrating, angered, joyous, and finally peaceful. The best way to describe my vocation in terms of administration of the sacraments is desire and yearning. There is no way to quantify the desire and this God mandated yearning. I can only say that I feel it at the very core of my God given being. I feel the desire to administer these rites to give the congregation the quickening of Christ’s love, to feel the Spirit move through them that they may be a beacon of Christ to the world; so that all the Baptized may live out their vows, which is the Priest’s ultimate goal, and Christ may live through us in the world.

Poverty and Global Warming

The following is an op ed piece written by the Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church, Katharine Jefferts Shori, for the San Francisco Chronicle on May 20, 2007

Before I became a priest, I was a professor of oceanography. One of the things I learned was that oceanographers couldn't just study squid or fish in isolation. We had to study interconnected systems. We had to understand not only the animals' environment, such as the water, but its chemistry and circulation, the atmosphere above the ocean and the geology below it. And that, I believe, is how we must understand our world: We must see everything, and everyone, as interconnected and intended by God to live in relationship.
Two of the most significant crises facing our world -- climate change and deadly poverty -- offer an example of such interconnectedness. By understanding how the two crises, and the people they affect, are connected, we can begin to understand how humanity can triumph over both. Extreme poverty -- that is, poverty that kills -- afflicts more than a billion of God's people around the world. Nearly 30,000 of these people will die today. That's 1 every 3 seconds. The factors that propel this kind of deadly poverty include hunger, diseases like AIDS and malaria, conflict, lack of access to education, and basic inequality. Climate change threatens to make the picture even more deadly. As temperature changes increase the frequency and intensity of severe-weather events around the world, poor countries -- which often lack infrastructural needs like storm walls and water-storage facilities -- will divert previous resources away from fighting poverty in order to respond to disaster. Warmer climates will also increase the spread of diseases like malaria and tax the ability of poor countries to respond adequately. Perhaps most severely, changed rain patterns will increase the prevalence of drought in places like Africa, where only 4 percent of cropped land is irrigated, leaving populations without food and hamstrung in their ability to trade internationally to generate income.
Conversely, just as climate change will exacerbate poverty, poverty also is hastening climate change. Most poor people around the world lack access to a reliable-energy source, an imbalance that must be addressed in any attempt to lift a community out of poverty. Unfortunately, financial necessity often forces the choice of energy sources such as oil and coal that threaten to expand significantly the world's greenhouse emissions and thus accelerate the effects of climate change. This cycle -- poverty that begets climate change, and vice versa -- threatens the future of all people, rich and poor alike, and of all things in the world that God so loves.
This relationship between deadly poverty and the health of creation was not lost on the world's leaders when, at the turn of the 21st century, they committed to an ambitious yet attainable plan to cut global poverty in half by 2015. This plan, which established the eight Millennium Development Goals, included a specific pledge to create environmental sustainability. 2007 marks the halfway point in the world's effort to achieve these goals, and while progress has been impressive in some places, we're nowhere close to halfway there. President Bush and other world leaders have made bold commitments, but many of them have yet to be realized. How can the United States help put the world back on track?
First, our nation should make good on the promises it has made to expand foreign aid targeted at fighting poverty, cancel the debts of poor countries and seek fairer international-trade rules that allow people living in poverty to empower themselves in the fight against poverty.
Second, our nation's leaders should recognize the emerging consensus that we can no longer ignore our role in safeguarding the health and balance of God's creation. We must take seriously our share in the global responsibility for reducing carbon emissions, and work with other nations to provide the resources and technology transfers that will allow poor countries to address their energy needs through clean-energy sources that will not hasten the rate of climate change.
Of course, it is not the United States alone that needs to deliver. When the leaders of the G8 meet in early June in Germany, climate change will be at the top of their agenda. The health and well-being of Africa is also on the agenda, but much further down. Now is an ideal time for Americans to write, call, or e-mail President Bush and urge him to work with other leaders in the G8 to consider climate change and deadly poverty side-by-side as facets of the same problem. The good news is that Americans are getting involved like never before. Faith communities like the Episcopal Church, from which I come, are organizing in communities all over the country, as are citizens from many other walks of life. Millions of Americans have joined the call for comprehensive solutions to poverty through efforts like ONE: The Campaign to Make Poverty History, and groups like the UN Millennium Campaign are working with citizens in all parts of the world. To be successful, though, the effort needs even more voices. It needs all of us.
At the very beginning of the Judeo-Christian Scriptures, we hear of God's creation of the universe and his proclamation that the whole of it is very good. Ultimately, this story is an account of relationships: the bond of love between God and the world, and the interconnectivity of all people and all things in that world. It is only when we take seriously those relationships -- when we realize that all people have a stake in the health and well-being of all others and of the Earth itself -- that creation can truly begin to realize the abundant life that God intends for every one of us.
The Most Rev. Katharine Jefferts SchoriPresiding Bishop and PrimateThe Episcopal Church

Action

So the weekend was interesting, we were blessed with a visit from my brother in laws, sister in law and my new nephew. It was a challenging weekend in one respect, though. Changing Baby Sleep patterns........my heart ached for the intreped new parents as they very sweetly navigated the harrowing sleep deprived nights of baby- little Will in a new place.As sleep deprived as I was, I probably looked worse for the wear than they did, being a sleep whimp, seeing that my card carrying status of newborn sleep warrior had been revoked about two years ago. I now have massive problems making it through Mystery! on Sunday nights. But, I digress.

This all affected Church on a very different level than I had expected. When I arrived in Church, I remembered that it was Trinity Sunday and I knew the sermon would be based on very dense Athanasian Theology sprinkled with a dab of Augustine, with a garnish of Patrick's Shamrock (like Porterhouse, Mashed Potatoes, Cheesecake, with a milkshake- good while going down, but rough on the system- albeit theological- 15 minutes later). My mind was already racing when my Priest climbed into the pulpit, I braced for the theological valium and was in fear for my lucidity. But, I was so surprised and awakened by what my Priest said that I was moved to think about the Trinity and God's trinitarian nature.

So, here goes some electronic valium from me to you-To contemplate the Trinity I am finding that I must get away from the idea of three seperate beings. In many protestant traditions, including the Methodism of my youth, you hear "sweet Jesus" and "my lord Jesus" not a lot of God the Father mentioned. In more Pentacostal groups I hear a lot about the Holy Spirit moving through them- but not alot of the God the Father. With Pentacostals this makes perfect sense, their "denomination" takes it's founding theology from the book of Acts which is very heavy on the Holy Spirit. these are very wonderful views of God and valid. But, I wonder if when we identify, through either theology or tradition, with a certain Trinitarian incarnation of God we, I think, are putiing God into a mighty "small box" as Presiding Bishop Katharine Jefferts Shori called it.When I say that we are putiing God into a box we are limiting God's capabilities, or at least not recognizing them.

The Trinity that demands that we attempt to take in all of the aspects and grandness of God and God's omnipetience is a concept of action not of being. The deed or "factum" basis for understanding the Trinity is one of recognizing the actions of God- the things that touch us and our being to the core. These actions bring the cold theology of being into the action of creation, turning water into wine, the raising of the dead, the feeding of the multitude, the reedemption and sacrifice, and hopefully the eradication of poverty in our lifetimes. When we speak of God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit; are we not speaking of God the Creator, the Son as the Advocate, Mediator and Redeemer, and the Holy Spirit as Speaker and Mover? So how does this explanation that sounds like a corporate mystical job description define our triune God? If we take all of the water in the Universe and try to water down the Trinity (and Im sure no amount would do it, but indulge me) we can see the difference.

We have all heard the adage "that is what I do, not who I am". When one examines the Triune God through the lense of "factum" we can see how when one is at work he or she is a teacher, soldier, doctor etc., but they still maintain a reality that is seperate from what they do. I was once in the Coast Guard, so at one time I was a rescuer, I am also a father, and at the same time I am a teacher, but I am and always will be "me". If we take this very pale analogy and apply it to the Trinity, we can see the Father and the Acts of Creation, and the Acts of Judgement, We see Christ and we see the God through the action of incarnation into the flesh and the action of redeeming the world, we can see, or more accurately feel, the Holy Spirit teach move and speaking to us. When we accept God' s role as an active part in our lives, not just a thing on the perifiery that gives laws and judges us at the end, we can act and work for the creation of God's Heaven on Earth. We can understand that our God is a god of Action and as his people we are a people of action. If the easier and literal definition of God from the Gospel of John is "God is Love", let's put the love of God into Action and get to work.

Dame Julian

I am on retreat at Mepkin Abbey in South Carolina as I begin this writing. It is a much needed retreat. During the summer I have had many responsibilities given to me at my parish and through my diocese. They are much too mundane and sound as a litany of complaint to list them all, so I will spare you and anyone else the itemized list. I do feel comfortable in saying that it has been hectic.



All of these responsibilities bring me to make a comparison about responsibilities in my spiritual vocation and those of everyday life. As I dwell more and more into the Gospels themselves and into the sacred activism of Christ; I feel more inclined to be a person who follows and Shepard others to Christ through works of social justice in the world, as well as the sacraments and not through contemplation.



This is where the comparison comes in and the appreciation of my year as an Associate in the Order of Julian comes to life. When I work on the projects assigned to me, or requested of me, I am a frenzy of activity. There are many deadlines to meet, as well as liturgies, dioceses communications issues, not to mention a refugee family from Burma, counting on me to make aspects of all projects happen. This is not to mention my "day job" as a teacher. Sometimes during this process you can lose site of what is really the most important things in your life. This is where my wife and two young children come into play. While I am out there trying to "heal the world'; I can not look away from those nearest me. I must help them and receive their help and comfort in these times of activity and discernment. The comparison that I want to make concerning my love for social activism, the Gospel, and Christ Jesus and the order is the same as my need for action coupled with my need for family.



While working constantly on the outreach and mission of the church, I have at times found myself forgetting why I had started this in the first place. Moving furniture for a refugee family can easily start to feel like manual labor if you lose sight of the big picture of hospitality and the messages of the Gospel. The contemplative and disciplined nature of the order has done allot to help me feel more of the presence of Christ not only at my place of prayer, but at the church office, computer, the phone and the back of a moving van.



I must admit there was a time when I doubted my affiliation with a strictly contemplative order. I have felt that social justice, and sacred activism where the key to being close to Christ. I even considered discerning for the Third order of Franciscans. I have decided against that now. The time I experienced those feelings has made me a stronger Associate and made me realize that while Christ calls me to act, Dame Julian helps me appreciate the action.

Alyssa

Sitting in an overstuffed chair
that is seems to be in the wrong environment
Arms crossed with incredulity
A scowl to accompany the wires emerging from her ears.

Legs move up to mimic the Buddha
Lotus flower visions cut short by slamming pencil
Scream to heaven about the inequity of it all
Head sways to the left and eyes fall

Showers

She moves with unpurposed grace
Glistening nude turban bearer

Softer, gentler,
soft kid glove that fits my hand

Soft blue pools of acquiescence
Spine of banded steel

Ebb and Flow

The barren landscape of seemingly rotting nose
Giving life to the mud and the movers
Primeval movements that, unknowingly, give us glimpses
To the subtle horizon of God

The wind empties and oxygen floods
Oceans Move and tempest rages
Gives life and takes-
material and life with the pressure of the air

Moving towards it feet are taken
Legs cut by organic razor
Nostrils burn from it’s inaccessible beauty
There, the microcosm and God moves alone

Chinese Fortune Cookie Theology

I am utterly amazed at the ability of very educated theologians and clergy's ability to use the Bible like a fortune cookie. When I say a fortune cookie, I mean the action of tearing into the fortune cookie and blindly finding the veritable answers to all of life's questions. Of course, I am no expert. I listen and try to discern the best practices from more experienced members of my community to their advice and one thing that is universal. It is the confirmation of the whole being the sum of all of it's parts. In other words, it is the whole of the Bible, the beautifully challenging, purposefully dense, maddening, and ultimately divine book that we Christians use as our guide towards our ethical temporary existense on this mortal coil. What an amazing sin it must be to take small parts of the Bible and use it to propogate dissention and despair. This is a despair and hurt that is born of a human generated judgment. This judgement is an action that has no validity or authority for one who believes in God's unique providence to judge.

I have had people tell me I belong to a church in trouble. When I ask why, they
let me know about verses that are quite difficult and challenging when they are applied to some of the current issues facing all of the church. It just so happens that my church is having an open conversation instead of a closed one, and many think that is all the Episcopal Church is about. When speaking to me about our "troubles" I am usually confronted by a litany of scripture that persecutes the Church and raise many questions that are worthy of further discussion. The verses are verses that warn and sentence peolpe to seculsion and damnation with a very cut and dry judgement if taken on their own. Without reading the surrounding verses, or, much less, the entire Bible, the legalistic suffering that would be imposed on Humanity would truly be devastating . I think that we find an easy Bible, with the simplicity of fortune cookie like wisdom passed out in convienet sentences, much more comfortable than the challenging beautiful thing that is our Book of scripture. In other words, it is must be very difficult to be orthodox about the verses of Dueteronomy dealing with sexuality when one continues to eat shrimp and wear poly cotton blends, which is also forbidden.

So when searching for the answers to lifes sticky and ethical questions, please, go to the Bible. Please go to the whole Bible in all of it's glorious confusion and revelation. Who said God was easy?